


ESCAPE

by XxLongLostSoulWriterxX



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Draco Malfoy is still a dick but at least he is trying not to be anymore, Drama & Romance, F/M, Gay Draco Malfoy, Hate to Love, Hogwarts Eighth Year, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Draco Malfoy, Personal Growth, Post-Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Redemption, References to Depression, Sad, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:27:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxLongLostSoulWriterxX/pseuds/XxLongLostSoulWriterxX
Summary: Draco Malfoy, a name that awakens for most people bad memories and the owner of that name, knew that all too well. He felt like he didn't belong here any longer, not that he ever felt like he really belonged in Hogwarts but now, after all that has happened, the dark mark faded but still there, it felt wrong to come back for the 8th year, to a place where last year he had made hell break lose. Hated from all houses equally, Draco finds himself caught between redemption and the ever ongoing pride of Malfoys, who showed no mercy or weakness but it came to a surprise to everyone, that of all people, the one who had lost the most because of him would be the one to break down those walls, he had began to establish since a very young age.
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 16
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellouuuu ^-^  
> I've been wanting to write this fanfiction for a while now but never found the time or motivation for it but it has finally happened! YEY! :D  
> So, this is a Drarry story as the tags have probably already said and it's gonna be a story that goes on quite slowly. I want to make the change between Harry and Draco realistic and therefore it's gonna take some time until the two will actually come close to being friends, so it will be one of this slow burn stories. If you are still up for it, then I hope you will enjoy this chapter and make you want to read more. I will try to set a date for an update every week in the coming days. This story contains some heavy subject's, so if you are sensitive for that please do not read it. Well, I don't wanna talk (write) too much, so I'm just gonna stop here and wish you have a good time with the first Chapter of hopefully many more ^-^

The pair of grey eyes, that normally had a lethargic feeling to them, were now spread wide open and the terror of the nightmare as clear as water to see in those eyes. His heart pounding as if he had just nearly escaped death, started to calm down when he realized that he was in his bed, at home, safe. The bangs of his white-blondish hair were drenched in sweat and a look at the big block that hung above his door, told him that it was only 4 in the morning. He sat up in his bed and leaned against the steel wall of his bed, that was covered with a black vintage style cover to make it comfortable to lean against. It was silent and as much as he was used to this silence, his hatred for it had only been growing stronger in the past months. Maybe it was because he knew, this silence would never be interrupted again from voices he had been so used to hear his whole life.

Still a little hazy from the pictures he had been seeing just a few minutes ago, Draco got out of his black king sized bed and his bare feet met the cold ground beneath but it didn't bother him at all. It helped him relax and remembered him that the nightmare he had was now, just a memory of the past. It was to no surprise that his bedroom had the size of a dinning hall. The ceiling was high up and the walls were painted in a light brown, with a flag of Slytherin covering almost a whole wall. A big window hid beneath the black curtains, that allowed you to gaze over the whole property of the Malfoy Manor, including the garden that used to be the pride of the Manor and had the size of the great hall of Hogwarts. His room was extravagant with mostly dark furniture, just as you would expect from a Malfoy. Every item in this room probably cost more than one would ever be able to see from the first view. They were nothing special to Draco as he had been used to nothing less than the best his whole life.

He opened the heavy door that lead to the upper long floor that was openly connected to the dinning room beneath. Draco can't remembered how many times he had jumped over the railing, onto his broomstick and flew downstairs and just how many times his father had scolded him for his childish behavior. He turned right for a moment, where his parents bedroom and a bunch of other rooms laid and sighed heavly before taking the stairs downstairs. He didn't knew what to feel. It has been almost exactly 6 months since the day, the second wizarding war had ended through the hands of a 17 year old boy and it had been 4 months since his father was sentenced to a life in Azkaban and his mother for 4 years. He knew that would be the outcome after it was clear that Voldemort would no longer be able to claim his throne on top of the world but they were still his parents and now he was completely alone. There was no one around him anymore. No friends, not that he ever had friends. Those who he called friends had been nothing more than loyal to his status and name and now that both had been dirtied by the press and the revealing of the horrible things his parents had done under the name of Voldemort, everyone turned his back on him. He had no family anymore, most of them had been caught by the ministry and brought to Azkaban or died in the war and those who still were free, were on the run, not caring at all about a boy who had just lost everything. 

Draco himself had to face a trial as it did not matter that he was a child when he received the dark mark. The only thing that saved him, as ironically as it is, is the trio he learned to hate with all his guts. Only because he saved Harry's life, when he didn't reveal his identity and did not participate in the battle, he was spared from Azkaban. He still remembered the Weasly's face when Harry spoke out for him. Ron hated him with all his might and honestly, Draco couldn't blame him. He might have not raised the wand and spoke the unforgivable curse that killed Fred Weasly but he knew that it was just as much his fault.

He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go to Fred Weasly's funeral, so he hid away, witnessing the ceremony from far away and waited until everyone had left. He still remembered the feeling as he got closer and closer to the cold headstone. He felt like vomiting. Those were the moments of realization. The ones where he fully understood the extent of damage his actions had caused. He still remembered the way his legs gave up and he fell to his knees, crying hard enough that his vision blurred, apologizing over and over. He knew it was too late. No matter how much he apologized, the weasly twins would never come in a double pack again and Mr. and Mrs. Weasly would forever still put an extra plate on the table that would always be left untouched. 50. The number of people who have died in the war and Draco was at fault. How could he ever live with that? Maybe that was the only good cause his upbringing brought. He was able to shut down all those emotions, whenever they felt too much, like they were about to tear him apart from the inside and leave him in shreds.

The Manor never looked or felt very warm and welcoming but now, all alone it seemed as if it was his own personal Azkaban. This Manor was all he had known his whole life, his home but it had always filled him with more sorrow than the place, called home should but it was still the only thing he had left. Trying to sort his thoughts, Draco took his black topcoat and his Slytherin scarf, that had been the same since first year, and walked out into the fresh morning. The sun nowhere in sight, much to Draco's liking. The dark gave him a feeling of comfort, as if no one would be able to see all his faults and the darkness was shielding him from everything and everyone. The night walks had become some kind of routine in the last months. It was his only escape when the Manor suffocated him. 

He had rarely left the property of the Malfoys and if he did, only disguised to a point where no one would ever suspect him to be a Malfoy. In just 4 days, he would find himself back in the same castle, that he hated so much and let be penetrated by death eaters. They could've not take him back and he honestly saw no reason why they did. Without his last year in Hogwarts, he would've had no education degree and even though he knew he had enough money to live comfortably his whole life, he wanted to have the opportunity to do something if he wants to but the true reason, which he would never admit to himself, was because he was lonely. In those months, he hadn't talked to anyone, not that anyone wanted to talk to him. The ones hated him because he had sided with the dark side and the others hated him because, in the end he betrayed them. 

McGonagall was now headmaster of Hogwarts after the passing of one of the most powerful wizards in the wizarding history and after his trail, she just nod at him and told him in her usual strict voice, that she expects him to be in time for the beginning of the new school year. He wasn't sure if he heard her correctly or if she meant it serious but it's been over a month since an owl came flying into his open window to give him a letter, in which he would find the list of books needed for the 8th year. He wondered if anyone knew that he would be coming back or if they thought that he might've transferred to Durmstrang, which he really considered but decided it was a bad idea to go to a school that teached dark arts when he was trying to free himself from the suspicions that he was still loyal to the dark lord.

The wizarding world had been in chaos since then. The whole ministry had to go through trials and they were still ongoing and the whole system had been questioned as it was way too easy for Voldemort to get the ministry under his control. Draco doesn't know much about the whole chaos as he tried to not read the newspaper too much because it was a constant reminder of his past doings.

Around 6 he was back at the house and the house-elf's had already awoken and were preparing a preposterous big breakfast for one person, from which Draco would never be able to finish more than a quarter. Now that going to Hogwarts was only a few days away, time seemed to pass so fast and he felt himself getting more anxious everyday. The last time he had seen the castle it laid in ruins, with hundreds of students that looked like their souls have been personally sucked out by the dementors. He didn't doubt that the castle probably looked like nothing ever happened to it, those scars were erasable but what about the students, the teachers? Would everything feel the same or was the damage the war caused, still as visible as ever? Draco really wasn't sure if it wasn't too selfish to go back. Would he be a constant reminder for others off the horror they had to witness? His mother told him to only think about himself while she is away, she said not to care about what others think and do what's best for him but he wasn't so sure if she was right. The selfishness of only thinking about himself had been one of the reasons he was now all alone. 

He missed her badly. She was still his mother and even though she had done all those horrible things and had her fair part of raising him into this arrogant, narrow minded bully, who thought that he was the center of the world, she was still the only person who had showed him some sort of love while growing up. She was only sentenced for 4 years because she had played a big role in the defeat of Voldemort, as she betrayed him and kept to herself that Harry was still alive but it did not change the fact, that she was willingly involved in murders, done for Voldemort. Even though they had not participate in the war itself and made a last minute change of sides , his fathers crimes had been too many and too ruthless to be ignored. 

Most would probably think bad of him because he missed him but they just couldn't understand that they were still his parents and even though his father never left out a chance to bully him and forced him into a life that he later on realized he never wanted, he was still the one who bought the whole Slytherin team the newest broomsticks because he begged him to and the one who made sure that if anyone were to hurt his son, they would get their deserved punishment. Now that everyone was gone, he looked so ridiculous sitting on this big table, all alone. 

The next days went by fast and Draco found himself getting closer to the train station, that would take him to Hogwarts. The taxi driver, a wizard himself, said nothing but Draco knew he had recognized him by the way he was starring nervously into the back mirror a few times. Who wouldn't recognize them. Photos of him and his relatives had taken the front pages of the daily prophet for a few weeks after the war and his distinctive white blond hair wasn't really helping to hide his identity. After a long ride, the black taxi came to an stop, right in front of the big entrance of the train. Of course like always one or two of the muggles would stare at him with distrust looks as he was loaded with quite a lot luggage and a black cat, sitting calmly on top of it all but most were in too much of a hurry to notice the unusual appearance. 

It did not took long and he saw a lot of students making their way through the crowd and he might regret it a bit to have not decided to wear something that hide more of him. Just like people have seen him the last years, he was dressed in a black suit, with a black blouse, the only difference was his hair. He used to wear it slicked back or to the side, just like his parents always told him to because it looked neat and distinguished but he found a new liking to a more messier hairstyle. The light curls he had always hid underneath all the hair gel were now visible and bouncing lightly around his left side, where he had styled them to fall. 

The looks they gave him went from surprise to disgust, to hate. He was sure he heard one girl whispering how he could dare to come back after all he had done and just like he learned growing up, he held his head high and went through the crowd, radiating a cold elegance as if he was untouchable. When he found an compartment that was empty, he sighed relieved and put the black bag, he hold onto as his luggage was being stored somewhere else, beside him. Nimensi, his black cat took her rightful place on his lab and enjoyed the sporadic strokes of her owner, who was trying to avoid looking at anyone. Ten minutes later, the train came into movement and slowly left the platform behind them. 

,,Draco?" at the familiar voice, Draco turned around to see Pansy and Blaise, standing behind the glass door, which they opened shortly after and Draco wasn't sure how to interpret their looks ,,I really thought Daphne lied when she said, she saw you getting in the train" Blaise looked at him with an unreadable expression and just stood silent beside Pansy ,,Didn't thought you would dare to come back after being such an coward" Draco rolled his eyes. He knew she was still pissed that he broke up with her in fifth year as if she was nothing more than a replaceable doll, he was tired of playing with and it wasn't even that far from the truth. She meant nothing to him and he would surely not allow her to look down on him. He had to show them immediately that just because his family had fallen from grace and he was alone, he was no little boy who wasn't being protected anymore 

,,Well at least, this coward saved your life when you did nothing but let yourself be caged by that squib" Pansy looked as if she was ready to tear his face off but was stopped when Blaise put his hand on her shoulder and gestured for her to go back to their compartment. The way she reacted to the touch, showed him pretty much that the two were dating now. Blaise gave him one last look before he disappeared with Pansy out of Dracos sight, who let his head fall against the wall. If this is how the next year was going to be, he really wasn't sure if he didn't preferred to be back in the lonely walls of his home.

An hour later, he found himself entering the great hall with his Hogwarts uniform and if the looks hadn't been already bad, they were now. Everyone was looking at him, whispering and showing him openly how they felt about his comeback. On the Gryffindor table, he saw a particular red hair who looked like he was going to explode any minute, only being hold back by the skinny girl beside him that was Hermione. To his luck, no one seemed to dare more with the teachers, seated on their table on the other end of the room. ,,So he really is back" ,,He doesn't know decency" ,,I don't know if he is brave or a fool" ,,Brave? He's a despicable coward" He calmed himself down and shut out the hateful words surrounding him. He walked towards the slytherin table with a confidence, that it only took a second for a pair of students to make space for him. He felt anxious but made sure that no soul would ever be able to see through his facade of arrogance. He had every right to be here and he couldn't give a damn about their insignificant opinions, he told himself until he believed his own words. 

,,Silence, please!" McGonagall's voice echoed through the hall and everyone went quiet. The next ten minutes were spent listening to her encouraging speech about how the event of last year had changed a lot of things and how we should not let our fears get the best our ourselves and for the first time Draco looked around and saw the visible pain in the eyes of his fellow classmates. Very little sparkling eyes were found as they all seemed to remember the horrifying war, where a lot of friends were lost and everything seemed hopeless. A feeling of guilt wanted to creep onto him but he stuffed it back, far into his mind. 

When he climbed the stairs, he ignored the looks and went inside his bedroom, that he had left a year ago with all his unnecessary belongings behind. Of course the room was cleaned out and his belongings had been sent to his home a while ago but the picture of Blaise and him was still standing on his nightstand. He wondered who let it stay there. Now that they were no longer friends, he didn't knew how the room sharing would turn out. All his friendships might've been shallow but that didn't meant, he liked to be alone more.

But he knew Blaise and him could never be friends again. Draco had started to realize that the way he had been brought up wasn't as good as he believed it to be and slowly he couldn't find it in himself anymore to hate the people, he had called mudblood and blood traitors for many years and Blaise probably hasn't changed at all.  
It was really to no surprise that Blaise and he were good friends. Together they had often talked about how they wished that all mudbloods and blood traitors would find a painful end, talked about how they would first torture them and would give them the rest with one of the unforgivable curses, even going as far to name a few of their fellow students they wouldn't care about if they died. They had laughed about it as if they told each other a funny story. At that time both of them didn't really knew what they were talking about, they had been raised that way and Draco, who was forced to actually torture someone had realized that talking about it and doing it are two very different things and those weren't things to be joked about even though he has to admit, at that time they weren't that much of jokes.

Pansy had often laughed about their stories but she never participated much in them, she found her liking mostly in bullying the weaker ones. Suddenly the door opened and Blaise came into the room, his look cold and headed to his bed, where his suitcase was still lying untouched. Draco took his biggest one himself and threw it onto his bed, casting a spell over it so that the clothes inside slowly flew through the air into the closet and drawer. He felt a cold stare in his back but pretended to not notice it and keep to himself

,,So, you won't say anything then huh?" Blaise broke the silence and Draco turned around to him with a questioning look ,,What do you want me to say?" Blaise let out a angry snort ,,Well, maybe why the hell you are back" this definitely wasn't looking good as he saw the tensed expression on his ex-friends face but he could also not give away that he just wants a peaceful year for once because they had been his friends in the past and friends of his old-self were people who would jump at every chance they get to dethrone him because he would do the same. 

With people like them, things like real friendships didn't exist, it was all just a game at who was better at hiding his weaknesses to get the Slytherin throne. Draco just happened to have always been very good at hiding his feelings and lying to himself but the fact that he was a Malfoy had helped out a lot but now that name was doing him more harm than good and he had to be very carefully because now there was no name to protect him anymore 

,,Why I'm back? Since when is it your business what I do or why I do it?" ,,You aren't untouchable anymore Draco" Draco could tell just by how Blaise dared to call him by his first name ,,You daddy is rotting away in Azkaban and last year, you showed us all just how much of a coward you really are" he took a dangerous step closer and Draco tighten his grip around his wand behind his back ,,I don't wanna share a room with a pathetic loser like you but sadly McGonagall doesn't care that much, so I give you two options. You stay out of my sight and if I'm inside the room, you leave until I leave again or fall asleep or you will get a taste of your own medicine" of course Draco knew what he meant by that and he wondered who would help Zabini to get back at him. Draco knew there was quite a long list. 

Draco scoffed lightly and threw his wand on his bed, turning his back to Blaise ,,You know Blaise, you shouldn't forget I'm still a Malfoy. That name might have not as much power as it had before but believe me-" he turned around and a dangerous spark inside his eyes, made Blaise tense more ,,I will let you know just how much it still has left" Draco looked at his left arm, making Blaise remember what was hiding beneath his school uniform.

Blaise had always been his closest friend because he needed to know what he was doing. He was different from the rest, Blaise wasn't so afraid of Draco as the others were and therefor he was a danger to his throne. ,,You're gonna regret this" was all Blaise said before he stormed out of the room, almost breaking the door with how hard he slammed it close. 

Draco knew it would've been better to just pretend to have not changed much and just try to get his position back but after what he had went through, who was popular and who wasn't suddenly seemed so unimportant. How had he been so obsessed with being popular to a point, where he hated everyone who only remotely endangered his position, bullying that person until all they wanted was for Draco to leave them alone. But he never did. If they once had gotten on his bad side, there was no turning back.  
The way he had treated the people around him, he could see now just how horrible he had been. He was so afraid of someone thinking of him as weak and leaving him out, that he didn't care about anyone else's feelings and did all he could to protect himself from harm. The voice of his father was still so vivid in his mind, drilling into him that emotions were nothing more than a distraction, a weakness that needed to be overcome and that people needed to fear you because that way, they wouldn't dare to betray you. 

Draco let his tired body rest for a moment as he sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. He really questioned if it was the right decision to go back.


	2. Chapter 2

It was in the middle of the night when Draco awoke. He used his right arm to steady himself and scanned the room with sleepy eyes. He found noises outside his room to be the reason why he woke up and groaned annoyed. He had been finally having a good sleep for the first time in a while. He had just turned around, ready to go back to sleep, when he noticed through the moonlight that fell into the room, that the bed beside him was empty. A weird tingling feeling made it’s place in his stomach and the noises outside died down and it went silent. Before he could even get up from the bed, the door flew open and suddenly he felt his head being covered by something. He heard someone mutter a spell and seconds later he suddenly couldn’t move his body anymore. Overwhelmed with what was happening, he tried to shout but the material that was covering his face seemed to have been hexed as well, as he couldn’t make any sound at all. Suddenly, he felt his legs moving and got up from the bed and without his shoes on, he was being forced down the stairs until cold stone ground was replaced by wet earth and grass. He had no control over his body anymore. His heart was beating so fast and even though he knew it were only his classmates, he still couldn’t shake this little fear inside him that Voldemort was back and ready to kill him or worse, for betraying him. He tried to calm himself down, while he was being pushed forwards. No sound broke through the curse and it was all the more frightening because he felt himself stumbling a few times over hard objects, he couldn't identify and felt something thin, slapping against the bag, that covered his head. He didn’t knew how long they had been walking but out of the blue, his body came to an stop, almost making him fall down if the curse wouldn't have hold him up.

Suddenly he was being pushed to the ground and the spell broke. When he teared the bag from his face, he was met with darkness. No living soul seemed to be out here and for a moment he questioned if he had hallucinated it but it was clear that he didn’t. He couldn’t see anything at all and he didn’t had his wand with him, so he closed his eyes concentrating on the magic inside him that could be used without a wand. It was something that you learned way later in life and not everyone managed to produce the magic so fast but his father had made sure that when Draco came to school, he would already be ahead of everyone else and right now he was thankful for it.  
A small light bubble appeared in front of him, lightening just enough to see the outlines of his surroundings but sadly at the realization where he was, he didn’t feel better. They had dragged him down into the forbidden forest and he had no clue how deep they had brought him into. He sat down on one of the roots, he now recognized as the objects he had stumbled over a few times and looked at his feet that were greatly affected by the lack of protection. A mixture of blood, from where the sticks and stones had bore into his skin and the dirt that clung onto his skin, covered his feet and as the adrenaline and shock slowly went away, he felt the pain of it. Through his natural body reflexes, his right elbow with which he had used to cushion his fall, had a few small scratched too and burned quite heavily. He cursed under his breath and moved his hand through his already messy hair. There goes his first peaceful night in Hogwarts. He felt foolish for believing that things like this wouldn't happen. Slytherin's had always been people, who took betrayal very serious and while everyone else was busy, healing from the wounds the last years had caused, it was clear that they wouldn't miss a chance to bully and hurt. It just seemed like they were the only ones, who returned this school year just the same as they had in the 5th year. 

Shivering from the cold night air, he tried to find some sort of shadow that stood out from the rest and looked like the big castle, that was his school but even though the moon was shining, his light was blocked out from the crowns of the trees that submerged the sky above him. Fear began to rise again at his hopeless situation. After the war, the centaurs had demanded a big part of the world to be theirs and if they would find him, they were surely not gonna make him live to see another day. Ready to try his luck, he concentrated on the magic light bubble that he created to stabilize his magic and started to head into a direction but took a step backwards when a small light appeared in the distance. He looked around, trying to find somewhere he could hide but expect trees, the forest allowed no hide away and running didn't seem like a very good idea too. The woods were dangerous, no matter where you are.  
,,Fuck“ he murmured to himself and felt himself panicking. His own source of magic was the only thing he possessed to protect himself from whatever it was that was making his way towards himself but he wondered if he even had a chance. Fear was trying to paralyze him as the light became bigger and the rustle of footsteps, breaking sticks carelessly, closer.  
,,Draco?“ the voice sounded oddly human and soon behind the light appeared the outlines of a human body that soon turned into the silhouette of a girl that looked a little familiar but it was too dark to make out her features clearly ,,Who the hell are you?“ he spatted angry and dusted the dirt of his black silk pajamas that costed more than most wardrobes of the other students. Her distinctive green eyes bore into his own cold gray ones and she sighed heavily, contemplating whether she should just turn around and leave him behind.

,,Come on“ was all she said before turning around, clearly deciding that it would've been a waste of her time if she came for nothing. Not waiting for Draco to follow, she headed back into the direction she came from and he speed up to match her pace, eyeing her from the side. She sure looked familiar but he could not tell what it was or who she reminded him of. 

,,Sorry, this happened. I tried to talk them out of it but you know how Blaise is“ Draco scoffed. He had expected no one else to be the one who initiated the plan ,,They are gonna regret this“ Draco brought out between clenched teeth and the girl gave him a wary look ,,Not that you don’t deserve it“ Draco snapped his head into her directions but she did not care at all about the angry glare she was receiving ,,Everyone was more than ready to help Blaise out“ she continued walking in silence after, only now and then turning to the boy beside her to look if he was still there. Draco didn’t really knew how he felt. Some part of him had expected worse. This was just a childish try to bully him, just the same typical things they had done two years ago together. He guessed there were quite a few people who would actually like to really hurt him and maybe even kill him and who was he to say, he didn't deserve it but he surely would not let Blaise be the one to taunt him. Blaise wasn’t hating him for letting the death eaters inside he hated him because he had always wanted the Throne that Draco had taken as his own, the first year he arrived. 

After some time, the school finally came to sight and he was more than happy to not have encountered any creatures that lived inside the forest. Now that the light’s from the castle lightened the area, he could see the face of the girl more clearly. She had long brown hair, that was tied into a loose ponytail and she had quite surprisingly pretty sharp features. The look on her face unreadable but it made him just even more curious about her  
,,No thank you for saving your life?“ she said, breaking the eye contact and continuing the way up towards the school ,,I didn’t need your help“ ,,Yeah, right“ she said, rolling her eyes lightly, which earned her a cold look from Draco ,,We should hurry back before Flinch or his cat sees us“ without another exchange of words, they walked towards the nearest entrance and sneaked through the corridors, hoping that the grant staircase wouldn’t give their presence away. The castle was quite, only light snoring from the people inside the pictures could be heard now and then and they were definitely just as annoyed as Draco had been, when his peaceful sleep was interrupted. One or two hissed angry at them but thankfully made no other sound that could wake one of the teachers or prefects.  
As they entered the Slytherin common room, Draco stopped awkwardly and waited for the girl to do the same, which she did as she realized that he wasn't going to head into the opposite direction ,,What is it?“ no hint of annoyance or any negative feelings could be found in her voice and Draco took that as a good sign. He rubbed his neck uncomfortably and looked everywhere else but her ,,Thank you“ he murmured but she heard it, a light chuckle escaping her mouth ,,Astoria“ he looked up and saw that she wore a small smile on her pink lips, which made her look even more pretty ,,My name is Astoria“ before Draco could say another word, she disappeared the stairs up that lead to the girls compartment and Draco sighed tired. When he opened the door to his room, he found Zabini sleeping soundly in his bed as if he had been there the whole night and it really took a lot of him to not hex his roommate in this very moment. But he guessed that McGonagall wouldn't be too happy, finding out that he was already causing trouble in his first night back. He was convinced that his stay in Hogwarts pretty much depended on his behavior.

Which had been nothing more than a guess was confirmed, next morning when Flinch had told him that McGonagall wanted to see him before class started. It was weird that know the gargoyle statue was the gate to the office of McGonagall and even though Draco had only been inside the office twice in Professor Dumbledore’s years, he recognized just how much it has changed. It was more empty, less colorful. A lot of the interesting little things that had danced, flown and jumped through the room were now covered in light dust and stuffed inside the shelf's as if the magic had died with the owner. A big empty gold-brown frame covered almost the whole wall behind the desk and Draco felt a tightening know inside his stomach, knowing who that frame belonged to. 

,,Good morning Mr. Malfoy“ McGonagall said, looking down on her desk where she just finished writing a letter before she looked up at the boy with her typical strict stare and put her reading glasses aside ,,Good morning“ he greeted shallow back and took the seat in front of the big old desk, his hand fidgeting awkwardly. He was so used to his own cocky behavior, that aside from that, he never knew how to behave ,,I won’t make this long but we need to talk about a few things“ Draco looked up at her, fear written in his face that she had found out about last night ,,As this year is supposed to be a new start for many students, I want this year to be calm and I do need to let you know, that I will keep a close watch on your behavior. I do not want to hear of any bullying or that sort of things while you are staying here“ Draco wasn’t surprised but still a little hurt that she really thought that after all that happened, he would still be doing meaningless things like bullying but he guessed he had never gave anyone a reason to believe he had something else to offer.

,,Last year was very...straining for everyone“ her face filled with sorrow ,,And I would appreciate it, if you could consider the events the students had to endure, when someone does or say something that might be over the line“ she wasn’t exactly asking him to endure if someone bullied him but more asking him to not explode like he used to every time someone said something that could be remotely insulting towards him. A part of him felt angry about it. Why should he suffer, just so that others wouldn't? He nod as an answer and McGonagall looked at him, the strict stare gone and a tired expression of her face, showing the many years she had already lived ,,Mr. Malfoy, I know-“ she started, unsure about how far she could go ,,-it has also been not an very easy year for you“ Draco stayed quiet, knowing that not easy was an understatement but he wouldn't dare to let anyone know just how terrifying and lonely the last months had been  
,,But I really wish that you will be able to complete your education here, with your friends and everyone else, so if you, well, ever need anyone to talk to, our new teacher in defense against dark arts , Professor Tregolor, has opened his office at any time for students who have the need to talk“ she wore a expression of expectation but Draco only nod awkwardly at the offer and stood up when she didn't continue talking. McGonagall cleared her throat, visible having a hard time showing another side than her strict one ,,You may go back to class now Mr. Malfoy, as you don’t want to be late on your first day“ he gave a half hearted smile and turned around, hurrying out of the room and away from the awkward tension. 

If he remembered correctly he had potion class now with professor Slughorn who was known for having a dislike towards students who have a lack of punctuality and even though everyone had already found out by yesterday that he was back, the eyes were still on him when he entered the room. He made his way towards one of the empty spots and gave everybody a cold look, who was thinking about saying anything towards him. Much to his own dislike, he saw the two familiar faces of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger on the other side of the room. While Hermione had stolen a few glances at him, Harry hadn’t shown any kind of interest in his arrival and Draco surely had no problem with that. He just wanted to forget that face that had been the reason his whole life turned out like this. 

As he looked around, he realized that the class had become a lot smaller than before but he didn’t expect anything else. A lot of Students never came back to Hogwarts, either because their parents did not want their kids to go to a school that claimed to be safe but never really had been or because they couldn’t go back to the place where they had witnessed their friends die and feared for their own life’s. The teachers also seemed unsure how to handle the situation. They doubted that there was even a right way because the kids had witnessed things no one was ever old enough for. While Draco was trying his best to stay focused and listen to the voice of Slughorn, who was telling them about a potion used for mind reading, his efforts were in vain as he felt himself slipping back in forth between memories and the present

//Flashback//

There was a storm inside him and Draco really didn’t knew what to make of it. Just three hours ago, he had left Hogwarts in a hurry with his aunt and fellow Death eaters after having witnessed the death of one of the most powerful Wizards. A death that should’ve actually been his cause. Now he was sitting inside his bedroom, starring at the ground unable to comprehend all that had just happened. His hands were shaking visibly and what started out as soundless tears escaping his eyes broke into heart wrenching sobs and his facade, he had been trying so hard to hold up the past year finally broke and there was nothing more to see than a boy, who was broken in a way no 16 year old should be. This whole thing, his whole life, it was just too much. Everything was just too much there was no escape. No way out if he wants his parents and himself to continue living, even though he didn’t felt like wanting to live much at the moment. Not that he hadn’t thought about it many times before in the last year but he was way too much of a coward to actually every consider really doing it. Death was just too frightening. He heard voices downstairs and he tried so hard to get himself to calm down but he just couldn’t, the sobs left his body shaking and he had no control over them. He didn’t want this. He wanted nothing of this anymore. He just wanted his old life back. It might have not been as good as it may have seen to other people but it was definitely better than right now. After an hour he had finally been able to get himself to calm down and tried to lock his emotions away again but since the beginning of the year, it had not been as easy as it used to be and right now it almost seemed impossible. He was able to find his composure back but the cracks were still visible enough that everyone would immediately see the terrified boy behind that mask if they looked closely enough. A knock on his door threw him mercilessly back into reality and he stood up, dusting his pants and told the person behind the door to come in. It was his mother, who smiled warmly at him. She walked towards him and rested her left hand on his cheek. Draco tried to give her a smile, which looked more like a grimace than a smile but Narcissa didn’t care, she was just happy her son was alive and back where she could keep any eye on him

,,Your father, he is on his way“ finally Draco's whole attention laid on her, his eyes wide open, surprised by the news he just had been told ,,Yes, you brought him back, son“ her face was practically glowing with pride she felt for knowing it was all thanks to their son that they could be reunited again soon ,,I am so proud of you“ he let himself be embraced in her arms but he felt nothing. Should he not be happy that his mother was proud and his father on his way back home? Finally, his father would recognize him as a real man, a son he was supposed to be proud of. That’s all he ever wanted, right? So why did he felt so out of place? ,,The dark Lord, who knows, might even forgive your father for his mistakes and we will be back in his favor. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?“ she lifted her sons head up with her hand and tried to look right into his eyes, trying to find that spark she was trying to lighten up ,,We can go back to the way, things were before“ she gave him a kiss on the cheek and Draco finally gave her a light smile, a heavy contrast to his haggard features and empty eyes. She was right, he should be proud. He finally made his parents proud and if they would be given the chance to prove their loyalty once more towards the dark Lord because of him than it was something to be very proud of. 

He followed his mother downstairs and was surprised to see the amount of death eaters who had gathered. Even though they were on the same side, Draco felt the need to make sure his wand was close enough but he doubted that he would ever find the guts in him to try to fight one of the dark figures that filled the big dinning room. He felt more like running away. He always had. Suddenly everything went quiet, when a loud bang was heard from downstairs and a group of snatchers came into view. The one who stood at the front had a big scar, covering the place where his right eye should be and he licked his lips in a anticipating way, his greasy hair falling into his face  
,,We found the one you were searching for“ he said, grinning as he took a step to the side and revealed a face that Draco recognized immediately. Luna Lovegood, a Ravenclaw he had seen often walk around barefoot and in search of something. Crabbe, Goyle and him had once found her outside in the snow, peacefully watching a bird in the tree and decided it would be funny to throw a snowball at the bird just to see her reaction. As the tears began to fall they had only laughed at her and called her a crybaby because the bird wasn’t even hurt. Now the look on her face was one of fear, one where the spark that had always been in her eyes had gone. Draco remembered how much he hated that spark and wished for it to be gone but now as it seemed to have lost it’s shining grace, he was filled with shame. Bellatrix grinned maliciously and ordered the snatchers to lock her away to the old man downstairs. Even though there were many scary figures around her, Luna’s eyes were set onto Draco’s, who had long ago lowered his head and starred down at the carpet. He just couldn't look at her and see this eyes, begging him to help her. As the snatchers had gotten their reward and left and Draco had wanted nothing more than run back to his room and hide away from it all, he appeared. The one everyone waited for and as soon as he apparated into the room, they all bowed down deeply. Draco was frozen and his mother used her wand to make him bow down. If he thought he had known what fear and panic felt like before, he surely knew now how wrong he was. A cold shudder run through his whole body and he tried his best to steady his legs, that seemed to want to give up in this very moment. He had not seen much of his face but it didn’t matter because his whole presence radiated a dark energy that would make every serial killer look like a sweet child.  
,,My Lord“ he heard the voice of Snape, who seemed to have left the corner he had been hiding in since they left Hogwarts and walked towards Voldemort. Everyone stood straight up slowly again and Voldemort listened to Snape, telling him how Albus Dumbledore had met his end, leaving out one little detail that would’ve revealed that Draco had lowered his wand, way before Snape had come into sight. A bloodcurdling laugh broke through the thick silence and was soon followed by more laughter's of the death eaters, Snape and Draco trying to give at least a halfhearted smile. The dark Lord’s eyes fixated on Draco and he felt his mother beside him tensing ,,Well done, boy. Even though the opportunity to end the life of this disgraceful Wizard yourself was....let’s say, stolen from you, you did very well“ he gave him what probably was supposed to be a grin but it felt more like he was considering if he should give him to his Snake as dinner. That thought wouldn’t even be that far-fetched. ,,Now” his voice loud and clear ,,bring me the man who dared to betray me“ his voice was ice cold and only seconds later a death eater, named Rowle came into sight, who was pushing a middle aged man in front of him, towards the dark lord. His short gray hair was a mess, the blue eyes full of fear ,,My Lord“ he had started but was painfully interrupted as Rowle, broke his kneecaps and he fell to the ground with screams of pure pain coming out of his mouth. Draco flinched and wanted to take his eyes off but his mother stopped him from doing so, afraid the dark Lord would see the weakness of her son. ,,Do not dare to speak to the Lord, you pathetic disgrace“ Rowle spatted hatefully and Voldemort closed his eyes for a moment, only disapproving of the said ones behavior ,,No, no Rowle, let the man speak“ the dark Lord kneeled down in front of the pitiful figure that was in so much pain and smiled lightly ,,M-My L-Lord, please“ he begged, tears running down his face ,,I beg you, p-please. M-My kid, h-he“ ,,Don’t worry about your kid“ he interrupted him ,,I will make sure that he will find out how you have tried to save his life. I will“ the man went silent for a moment as if he wasn’t sure what to make of his word but it did not took long before the meaning of the words had sunken in and he started shouting ,,NO, PLEASE! NOT MY KID! NOT MY KID!“ Voldemort only gave a short nod towards Rowle and watched the man merciless crying and shouting when Rowle spoke the unforgivable curse, that caused the one to receive it, to be in a pain that you would never be able to explain. Draco squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out this horrifying screams that filled the room but to no avail. Those screams would be forever burned into his memories.

//Flashback end//

The bell rang, marking the end of the class and Draco was the first to practically run out of the small room. He was trying his best to stay collected, trying his best to even his breath and stop the storm that wanted to break loose inside him. Only when he finally found the nearest bathroom, he let his bag fall down to the ground with a thud and hurried inside one of the stalls, his breakfast finding it’s way out through his mouth. He was violently choking as he tried to breath between the urges to puke and the sobs that escaped his body. God, he probably looked so pathetic. A painful pitiful laugh escaped his mouth that even in this situation, all he was thinking about was how weak he is, which was interrupted by another wave of nausea. He didn’t knew how long he had been just sitting on the cold floor, crying like a little kid, with his arms around his knees but as he had already needed to cover his mouth with his hands a few times, to silence his sobs because someone came into the bathroom, he guessed that quite a lot of time had already passed. 

He knew he would get into trouble if he missed class on the first day but he would gladly accept every punishment before he would let anyone see what he has been hiding underneath his cold and arrogant stare. He waited a little longer until he was once again alone in the bathroom and came out of the stall and moved towards the sink. He looked into the mirror and was ashamed at the sight. He looked so pathetic, so weak. His usual pale skin, was now the color of the snow which was a heavy contrast to his red, swollen eyes. He took a few more minutes to calm himself down and get a little color back onto his face before he left the bathroom and hurried to his next class. 

Defense against dark arts had only started and everyone was still searching for a place to sit, so no one noticed him coming too late. He took a seat, right beside a blonde girl that didn’t even acknowledge him but he couldn’t care less. He just wanted the lesson to be over, so that he could finally go back to his room to get some peace. He noticed the tall figure, that was standing at the front of the class and smiled lightly at them ,,I am Professor Tregolor and I will be your teacher for defense against dark arts for this year and hopefully the next too“ his hidden remark about the knowing rumor that the position he was currently holding seemed to be cursed , made the students chuckle ,,Before we start this Class, I would like to tell you some things“ he moved to sit down at the edge of his table and tipped his hands against the wood nervous ,,A lot of things have changed and a lot of things are still undergoing that change and after...well the events that took place, the ministry and the school came to a shared decision, that considering the circumstances, it would be the best to make this class a lot more advanced than it ever was supposed to be“ upon the faces of his students at the mention of the war, he felt sorry for bringing it up and reopening the wounds that were trying to heal but it was important that they knew, they were not ignoring anything, not trying to cover up anything

,,I will also have my office, always open for any student that needs a listening ear, at any time. So please do not feel like you are alone with what you are going through. In times like this, friendships are dearly need, so please reach out to someone“ the silence was broken by a sudden sob and everyone turned around to the back of the class, where Susan Bone had been sitting in silence until she could no longer keep her composure. Her friend, Riley beside her patted her in a comforting way and asked if they both could leave the class for a moment at which Tregolor only nodded understanding and told Susan to come by his office later. There it was again. The guilt trying to come back because he knew, he was the cause for all this pain but he swallowed it back down and decided to concentrate on the illustration of a werewolf that filled the front page of his new bought book. 

,,Well then, let’s begin the class now. I would li-“ he stopped and looked around, seemingly searched for a face ,,I see, there is one of you missing“ he spoke out loud and everyone turned around, trying to find out who it was that was missing ,,Has anyone of you seen Mr. Potter?“ Draco looked around, only now realizing that the Gryffindor should’ve been here too. Neville Longbottom cleared his throat and raised his hand ,,Professor, Harry had been not feeling well since the morning and decided to go back to his room“ ,,Ah, I see“ he said and Draco rolled his eyes as he heard the others voicing his worry for the scarhead ,,Harry really didn’t looked well this morning“ ,,Of course he wouldn’t, stupid-“ ,,Don’t call me that!“ ,,-I mean no one is okay here and he lost a great deal of people“ ,,And he fought against, you know“ jealousy didn’t suit Draco well, he knew that but he couldn’t stop the feeling from emerging from his inside. All everyone always seemed to care about was Mr. Harry Potter, who was now no longer only the boy who lived but also the one who saved the whole wizarding world. If they hadn’t worshiped him before, they surely did now and Draco hated it to his bones. That boy had always taken all the attention, leaving Draco in need of drastic actions to get people to look at him too. 

When he first came to school, unlike most others he already had a group of friends, sons of his fathers friends he had known since birth and when everyone in the train found out that he was the only heir of the Malfoy's, they seemed to practically throw themselves onto him, to become his friend. But it only took a few hours and everyone found out about the great Harry Potter who was now a first year student at Hogwarts and if that hadn’t already been enough, he had the audacity to turn down a Malfoy and humiliate him in front of all those people. Draco knew he had made his mission to make Potter’s life at Hogwarts a living hell for that. He had expected to be the center of attention but was painfully thrown aside for the infamous boy who lived. Even though he had grown up, with only needing to point at something to get it and his mothers lovely words that he was a very special boy because he was a Malfoy, he seemed to have a hunger for attention that could never be filled. Much later, he would only realize that it stirred from the hunger for a love, he had never received. The one that had been missing inside his big bedroom, that felt lonely without someone to read him a book or tell him that the monsters underneath his bed were not real. Draco would more likely accept death than ever admit to himself, that the true nature of all his past action were nothing more than a attempt to feel loved.

,,I would like you all to open the book, on page 245. Ms. Greengrass, care to read it out aloud for us?“ Daphne got up from her seat ,with her book in her hand and started reading the text about how to spot signs of dark magic on objects. Draco emptied his head and concentrated on the lesson, marking everything that seemed important and could be used in the next exams. He had always been quite a good student, his grades mostly never less than an A but his outstanding grades were always overshadowed by Hermione Granger. God, how much he hated her for that. No matter what he did, there was always someone who was better than him and her smug face and the proud smile, whenever she got praised from the teachers or admiration from students, filled him with so much hate. She was a mudblood, unworthy of a place in a wizard school. Of course Draco knew it all had stirred from nothing more than jealousy. He had insulted her badly, treated her like dirt and hoped that she would just die along the way. He felt sorry towards not only her but all the halfbloods and muggleborn he had bullied over all those years without an ounce of pity. The feeling of remorse was still something he wasn't used to. What started as just words, he didn't really understood the meaning of and just imitated from his parents, turned into a hatred for all those who weren't reaching the standards of his parents. He had grown up with his parents, telling him to stay away from mudbloods because they are freaks of nature and that they all should’ve been killed as infants as they were nothing more than a disgrace to the wizarding world. Since he could remember, the flame of hatred in the eyes of his parents was so big. He never thought much about it and carried on with his parents beliefs. 

It might have been small but a little part inside him, a nagging feeling that he chose to ignore, never felt good with the things that came out of his mouth but he knew hell would’ve more likely froze before he would’ve admitted it at that time. He had been so blinded by his parents belief and he surely had no desire in him to question them. No, he wanted to have an easy life and do what needs to be done to make his parents proud. It was his priority, to please his parents. It would be a lie if he said it wasn’t hard to change and it still is. He had grown used to those beliefs and his parents had made sure that while growing up, he was only surrounded by people who shared that mindset. The realization that he just couldn’t bring himself to kill someone had brought a wave of question and doubts with them, that had been trying to drown him. 

Draco wanting nothing more than to go back to his room in the break but of course it wasn’t granted when Zabini blocked the way, with Cole and Trista on each side of him ,,Liked your nightly trip?“ he grinned spiteful and the other two copied the grin. Draco knew, he had to be careful as he still remembered Professor Mc.Gonagall’s words but he could also not let them get away with thinking that they could do whatever they want with him. He shortened the distance between him and Zabini with one big step and gave him a cocky smile ,,Pretty cowardly of you. I thought you got more but I guess that little brain of yours is too busy stuffing your tongue into Pansy’s mouth“ ,,Don’t you fucking dare to talk about my girlfriend!“ he pushed Draco, who slightly stumbled back but catched himself fast. He looked up at the face of the angered Blaise and just smirked ,,That’s all?“ he sighed as if he was utterly disappointed at the childish tries of his ex friend. Some people stopped, to see what was happening (and probably because they wanted to witness Draco Malfoy receiving a beating) and others just rolled their eyes at their childish behavior ,,You know Blaise, you talk so much but I see so less. Why don’t we just make things clear, once and for all, huh!?“ if looks could kill, Draco would be dead by now. Blaise hatred for him, seemed to come from deep within and he wondered how the guy had been, standing beside him all those years, smiling and telling him that they were friends.

,,Tonight, let’s meet in front of the Quidditch field“ Draco grinned mischievously because he knew that he had always been better at dueling than Blaise and if he wouldn’t take the offer everyone would believe he was a coward and Draco knew that, using it to his advantage.  
,,Fine!“ Blaise spatted and lowered himself down to Draco’s height ,,I’m gonna finish you!“ and with that he stormed away and Draco mentally slapped himself, for letting his impulsiveness get the best of him. He knew he needed to show Blaise somehow that he wasn’t someone you could treat like this without consequences but it was a mystery to him why he needed to suggest something that required him to break quite a lot of rules. He was risking his stay in Hogwarts.

Not longer wanting to go to his room, as he wanted to avoid any unnecessary encounter with his lovable roommate, he found himself making his way to the place that he had escaped to many times before. The top of the Astronomy Town had always been locked, forbidden for students to enter without supervision but it was easy for Draco to open the door with a spell. Even though it was summer, the breeze up here was quite cold but Draco didn’t mind it at all. He leaned his body lightly against the railing and closed his eyes, feeling the sensation of the wind in his hair and breathed out, finally feeling a bit less suffocated. What was he going to do now? He definitely couldn’t back out because that would give the impression that he was afraid of Blaise but going meant risking a lot for something as trivial as popularity. His trail of thoughts had been interrupted as the wooden door behind him fell into it’s lock with a loud bang ,,Oh, sorry I thought no o-“ the new arrived boy stopped when he recognized Draco, who sighed annoyed at the familiar face of Harry Potter.  
,,Can’t I be at least once freed from your existence?!“ Draco said hateful and Harry rolled his eyes at the unchanged behavior of the boy who had tried for years to make his life in Hogwarts a living hell ,,It’s not like I’m a fan of yours either“ he muttered but Draco had heard him and gave him a cold glare ,,Why don’t you just freaking leave me alone for once Potter and go, don’t know, save the world or whatever the great Harry Potter does in his free time“ ,,Leave you alone? I think your memory isn’t the best anymore because it’s been you, who wasn’t leaving me alone!“ ,,Yeah because you are so annoying that it was hard to ignore your constant play of how special you are!“ ,,I never di-“ Harry stopped himself and sighed tired. Not that Draco cared much but he could see that he wasn’t the only who wasn’t sleeping much. The bags under Harry’s eyes were quite visible and his eyes looked almost empty, as if all life had been taken away from dementors. His hair looked like a bird nest and his usual skinny but build features were now only skinny, matching his low spirit.  
,,You know what Malfoy, I am really not in the mood for your daily dosage of bullying. I’ll leave“ before Draco could say any more, Harry had already turned around and left him without another word. He knew he should be thankful that Harry had spoken out for him after all he had done, he knew he probably would’ve never done the same for him, but he just couldn’t stop the hatred that was pulsing through his veins for that boy. He first hated him because he declined his offer of friendship and took all the attention, Draco had expected to be on him but the hate was nothing more than superficial but the older he grew, the more the hate spread like venom. Harry was the reason all of this happened. Harry had teared his family apart, long before his father was sent to Azkaban because of him. His father always hated it when Potter was better at something than his own son and he didn’t shy away from showing the disappointment upon his sons failure’s. Draco would never be enough, that was something he realized when his father came back from Azkaban and still looked at him as if he was a little boy that needed supervision to stop him from straying from the path. His dad had given him everything to make him the best and still, there was always someone who was better than him. Draco really wondered if one day, he might be freed from the curse that was the existence of Harry Potter. That boy reminded him of everything he never had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeeeeell :D that’s it for the second Chapter. Hope you liked it ^w^ I know you probably want to see more interaction between Harry and Draco but I warned you that this is gonna be a slow burn story because I want to try to make it as realistic as possible, even tho alone the fact that they develop feelings for each other is already pretty unrealistic haha but I’m trying. Draco and Harry have known each other all their life as nothing more than enemies, so they won’t suddenly like each other in the span of a few days and I’m also concentrating a lot on character development, especially Draco’s as I believe he is a Character that still has a lot to give and show. A potential that J.K Rowling wasted in my opinion. All his life he had been following what his parents wanted and it’s not easy to free yourself from that, especially if their beliefs and opinions were all you knew and were taught to follow without questioning any of it.
> 
> I also wanted to stay true to the events of the book and change as little as I can to match my story but the fate of Draco's parents was just something I had to change because it was so unrealistic that they were freed from any punishments just because they had decided last second to kinda change sides. They participated willingly in the first and second war and probably killed a dozen innocent people without any remorse. As much as it hurt me to make Draco lose them so sudden, I just had to do it.
> 
> Before I reveal too much, I’m gonna stop now haha (I already said too much XD). I do hope you liked this Chapter and I guess I will try to update one Chapter every week, so tuned :) 
> 
> Stay safe and take care of yourself ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellouuu :D Welcome back ^-^
> 
> I'm sorry for updating a day too late. The Chapter was already finished but I was so busy and came home very late and went right to bed and totally forget it. Anyway, here is the third Chapter and I hope you like it ^w^ ♥
> 
> I also wanted to say sorry for all my grammar mistakes and for the lack of sentence/word complexity. I'm not a native english speaker, so please don't be too harsh on me haha. But feel free to give me any kind of feedback, I appreciate everything :)
> 
> Enjoy ♥

,,You guys are so ridiculous“ said Daphne as they were sneaking through the empty corridors, with only their wands bringing a little light into the pitch dark night.  
,,Why are you here then?“ Pansy asked annoyed that Daphne always needed to be a moral apostle at some point ,,Because at least one person has to make sure, that Draco and Blaise don’t kill each other“ ,,As if that traitor would be brave enough for that“ Pansy scoffed gloating and grabbed her boyfriends hand, who was walking slightly ahead of her. Daphne looked at her sister, who silently followed them hoping for some sort of support but she didn’t gave the impression she cared much about what happened with the two boys.

When they finally found their way out of the castle, they hurried down the mountain, trying to keep Blaise’s pace who looked as if he was ready to do whatever it takes to make Draco pay for turning his back on them. As the Quidditch field came into view, a lonely figure was already there, leaning against the outside walls with a bored expression on his face. An act, to let everyone think that he didn’t felt nervous. ,,I really wasn’t sure if you would really come“ Draco called from distance and started grinning as Blaise got closer and he saw the anger in his eyes. As he looked around he saw that quite a lot of people had decided to watch their fight, seeing faces of all houses.  
,,Didn’t Ron wanted to come too?“ ,,Yeah, when I told him it’s time, he suddenly said he doesn’t want to anymore“ ,,Probably because of Hermione. She said she was not going to watch two idiots fight over some dumb ego problems“ ,,And Harry?“ ,,Don’t know. Probably doesn’t care“ ,,Yeah, understandable“ and again Draco felt the anger inside him raising. Everyone gets that Potter is a hero and has better things to do, they don’t have to rub it under his nose by every freaking opportunity they get.  
,,No rules!“ Blaise said and smirked, knowing that Draco had no choice but to agree, which he did without hesitation.  
,,You still got time to leave” Blaise mocked but Draco uttered no word, instead raised his wand as an answer. They both took a few step backwards and took their most comfortable fight position. Pansy came forward in her blue skirt, that left little to the imagination and positioned herself between them, her right hand holding her wand that was pointed at the sky above them.

,,1.....2.....3!“ a small red light shot out of her wand into the sky and Blaise had already casted his first spell, almost hitting Draco who had jumped to the side in time. He collected himself fast and hit Blaise with a stunning spell, who flew through the air and crashed harshly against the cold earth. ,,Didn’t I tell you“ Draco shouted smirking. ,,Defodio“ Blaise said before he had completely gotten up from the ground and the earth beside him started vibrating until a hundred little stones were flying through the air, right towards Draco who in time casted a Protego and let a few stones be redirected to their owner, who only got hurt slightly before he used a Protego spell himself. They continued throwing spells at each other and dodging most of them, the crowd now and then cheering when Draco crashed onto the ground or into the wall. ,,Just give up Malfoy, you lost your place already long ago!“ ,,Protego! Do you think I care?“ ,,Bombarda!“ the ground underneath Draco exploded and he was thrown against the wall, feeling the metal ripping his skin open ,,You should because I won’t let a coward like you ever take that crown again. You don’t deserve it!“ Draco crouched down, to avoid getting hit by the stunner spell of Blaise and threw one at him himself ,,Oh Blaise, you can take that crown and wear it as long as you want to. Stupefy!“ the confusion got the best of the male and he was thrown to the ground once more. He grabbed his wand but Draco spoke the Expelliarmus spell, disarming Blaise whose wand landed in the blonde's hand. 

He smirked and played with Zabinis wand in his hand as he took slowly steps towards his opponent, who was getting up from the ground but Draco used the incorio spell and he was being pressed down to the ground again. He crouched down in front of him and hold out his wand, for him to take knowing that Zabini couldn’t move, with the charm holding him down. He laid his wand beside him on the ground, sighing as if he was terribly sorry for the embarrassment. ,,Take that Crown, be the bloodiest king out here. I don’t care“ Draco shortened the distance between them a bit more and whispered in a not so quiet voice ,,But I swear to you, if you dare to bother me again, I’m gonna make you regret that you didn’t kill me in the forbidden forest“ Draco put his wand back into his inner pocket of his black suit and sighed happily ,,Well then, sorry for the bad show guys“ he said, smiling at the crowd, dusting his jacket. Their faces showed very clearly how disappointed they were that it wasn’t Draco, who was covered in mud and laid on the ground in defeat. ,,Well, then-“ his words were interrupted when a 5th year student came running down the hill, warning them that Professor Flitwick had seen the red light and that he and Mr. Crowly were on their way.

The students starting running in every direction and Draco who had been still standing on his spot felt a hand grabbing his own and dragging him away from the field, the charm that held Blaise in place disappearing. Astoria used her wand to make the trees bend so they could run through the small forest without needing to be careful not to trip over something or crash against a tree. After a long minute of running they came to an stop, their heavy breathing the only sound heard in the dark ,,That was close“ said Astoria grinning in between breaths and pushed her messy hair out of her face ,,I guess we should wait a bit before going back“ she sat down on one of the many roots of a tree that had grown their way out to the surface and leaned against the tree. ,,That was quite a scene there“ she said, gesturing towards the Quidditch field that laid somewhere behind the trees, now out of sight ,,You really got no mercy in you,huh?“ ,,What do you mean?“ Draco finally spoke, his voice cold as he took a seat beside her ,,I mean, you did not only defeated him but you humiliated him“ ,,So? It was him, who started it“ ,,Oh and that’s all that little brain of yours can do. He started it and because of that, he deserved everything thrown his way?“ ,,Actually no, he deserved it because he dared to provoke a Malfoy and by the way, ’that little brain of yours‘ ? Was that supposed to be an insult?“ ,,You guys and your awful name you take so much pride in“ ,,You’re just jealous!“ spatted Draco back and Astoria scoffed ,,Jealous of what? Being a dick, who thinks just because he has a famous name, he’s more worth than others. No, thanks!“ somehow did she knew she was crossing a line but honestly, she couldn’t care less. She was so fed up with those opinions she had been confronted with her whole life. Draco got up from the ground and even though, the light from his wand was only enough to lighten up the spot where he stood, she could see the anger in his facial expression ,,I’m not...I-“ confusion mixed into his feelings and he groaned out of frustration ,,You just don’t know what you are talking about!“ she laughed shallow and got up from the ground as well, almost matching the male's height ,,I guess you didn’t recognize me but I’m a Greengrass“ ,,What?“ ,,I am Daphne’s younger sister“ 

Draco was definitely surprised to find out that she belonged to one of the sacred 28 families. He knew Daphne had a little sister but never really cared to find out who it was. It would be a lie if he said, he cared for anyone else than himself over the last years  
,,We have already met a few times but of course, the great Malfoy does not waste any second on people he can’t win something from“ she sounded a little bit angry about the fact that he did not only didn’t recognize her but never remembered her at all ,,Be careful with your word choice“ he said through gritted teeth and if she wouldn’t have been a girl , he would’ve already put her into her place ,,so what? I’m not afraid of you“ Malfoy closed his eyes for a moment, calming himself down before he would do something he would regret and took a step backwards ,,Just bloody lead the way out!“ he said, not really knowing where she had led them. Once again he followed her out of a forest, this time not thanking her before he stormed away from her when they arrived at the entrance of the castle.

He really didn’t felt like going back to his room now and made his way to the Astronomy tower. He really needed a switch of rooms. This wasn’t going to workout. Draco used a silencing spell, so that the door would fall into it’s lock soundlessly and walked over to the open railing that allowed a heavenly sight in daylight. Now, there wasn’t much to see but the outlines of the castle and the night sky, that was mostly covered in clouds. He had to admit that going back to this place, left a bitter taste on his tongue but apart from the old bathroom, this had always been the only place to help him feel calm but it was also the place, where an innocent man had died not too long ago. A man, whose death was his fault. He wasn’t sure if going to the Astronomy Tower was really him trying to find an escape or him trying to punish himself. He let his head fall against the column on his right side and sighed tiredly, the pain in his back from the fight only now noticed by his consciousness. He moved his hand through his white hair and closed his eyes for a moment. It was his second night in the new school year and both had been more turbulent than they should’ve been. He wondered if it would ever be possible for his life to go back the way it used to be in his first year. At that time, his parents had still protected him from the dark world they both lived in, to an extent, where Draco didn’t had to worry about anything else than, trying to get his grades up so that his parents would be proud. It hadn’t been a very pleasant time too but it was still so much better than what had begun to be his life in his 3rd year, when his father believed he was old enough to hold the responsibility that came with knowing what they had been trying to achieve the last years. Looking back now, Draco couldn’t tell what he had felt when he first found out. Pride, because his father trusted him enough? He was taught to believe, that becoming one of Voldemorts allies was something to feel good about but what did he feel? He sighed frustrated and let his body slide down to the ground slowly, becoming more and more exhausted from the storm inside his head. He really understood what his father meant by saying that emotions were a distraction. Right now, Draco just wished for them to leave him alone, so that he could have a minute of peace.

A sudden clear of throat startled the blonde and his head snapped back up, his eyes lingering on a shadow, too far away to recognize who it was but he didn’t need to. The voice that filled the silent a moment later made it pretty clear who it was ,,I don’t mean to pry but are you okay?“ at the worry in his voice and the absence of annoyance, Draco was convinced that Harry had not recognized him. He slowly lifted his body from the ground, feeling slightly embarrassed and stormed into the direction of the door but before he could reach it, the door was being opened from the inside and just a second later, Draco squeezed his eyes shut at the bright light of Professor Crowly’s Lumos.  
,,Well, well, well, what do we got here? Mr. Malfoy and..“ he directed his light towards Potter, who had a surprised look on his face upon the realization that the pitiful figure that had been sitting on the ground was none other than Draco Malfoy ,,..Mr. Potter“ he looked at them both with a strict stare ,,As you should’ve been in your beds at this time and the door clearly locked, I would like to hear an explanation!“ Professor Crowly might be new but even he knew about the hostility between the two, so it was quite surprising to find them together, in the middle of the night ,,I didn’t come here with him“ was the first thing Draco said, as if he needed to make clear that he still hated Harry with all his might ,,I appreciate the information Mr. Malfoy but right now, I am not interested on how the two of you encountered each other but more interested on why you aren’t in your beds in the middle of the night“ Harry scratched his neck, unsure on how to answer that question without telling him that he felt suffocated in his bedroom and needed fresh air to calm himself down 

,,I was just...eh...stargazing“ he said, proud of his fast lie, which earned him a light chuckle from Malfoy, who happened to find his lie a little dull ,,Ahh, right“ Professor Crowly said, very aware of the fact that not one single star was seen on the sky but decided to pretend he bought the lie ,,And you, Mr. Malfoy? I do not believe you have been stargazing together, right?“ ,,Never“ he said as if it was a crime to even think about him, doing anything with Potter that didn’t include a fight ,,I just wandered around a bit“ he said shrugging his shoulders and Professor Crowly sighed, clearly knowing that both of them were lying ,,Well, the circumstances as to why the two of you are wandering around the castle at night and on top of that, a place that had been locked from the teachers, do not change the break of rules. I will discuss this matter with Professor McGonagall tomorrow and will let you know, what the consequences will be. You may go to your bed now“ he paused for a moment before continuing ,,and I do suggest not taking any detours and head straight to your common rooms“ ,,Of course, Sir“ Harry said, walking past Malfoy and Crowly, fleeing the scene as fast as he could. Professor Crowly looked after Draco until he disappeared out of his sight and made his way back to inform Professor Flitwick about his discovery.

The next morning came way too fast for Draco’s liking but at least he woke up before Blaise and packed his things to avoid a fight, before the first class even had started. He wasn’t sure if the defeat last night would be enough for Blaise to leave him alone but he hoped so. At this early hour, only very few students were awake and sitting together in the common room, only glancing at the blonde who walked past them out the room but not without catching the last sentence of one of the girls, saying how much he wished he would’ve never came back. Draco knew he would be an idiot if he would let those kind of remarks from people, he didn’t care for at all, get to him, so he continued his way with his head held high as if there was nothing that could make him loose his calm. 

On his way to the great hall for breakfast, he was stopped by Professor Crowly ,,Good that I see you Mr. Malfoy. I discussed with Professor McGonagall the events of last night and after she suggested reconsidering the decision regarding your stay in Hogwarts-“ Draco felt his heart drop ,,-she gave me the instructions to decide, what punishment the two of you should receive“ right now, he wished he would’ve just stayed at the Manor. Now he had to take the humiliation of being thrown out and all he could do was pretend that he didn’t care ,,So, I will see the two of you for the next two weeks, in my office after class“ Draco couldn’t hide the surprise upon the fact that he wasn’t being thrown out, considering what he had done last year, when he had ’‘wandered“ around the castle, and Professor Crowly only chuckled lightly at his reaction.  
,,...well, then. I have to go now. I will see you in class later“ Draco continued to look after him, wondering why the Professor had seemed to have taken his side. Maybe he didn’t knew who he was? Who was he kidding, everyone knew him. The daily prophet made sure of that.

Wondering about what he was supposed to be doing after class for the next two weeks, he said down on the Slytherin table and filled his plate with a variety of eggs, toast and vegetables. He just hoped he wouldn’t be doing the work with the scarhead together. He was surprised when he felt someone taking the seat beside him, considering that there were many more seats free and he wasn’t much liked by anyone here but as he turned his head and saw the cocky girl, that had saved him two nights in a row, he rolled his eyes ,,What do you want?“ he asked, feeling not really hungry anymore ,,Nothing“ she said and filled her plate, until there was almost no space left ,,I’m so freaking hungry. Skipped dinner yesterday. Big mistake“ she said, not caring about the lack of grace of talking while she was already stuffing the food into her mouth. Draco sighed and took a big sip from his glass

,,What’s your next class? Mine is history of magic with Professor Binns. Really don’t like that guy much“ Draco just shrugged his shoulders and continued starring mindlessly at the Hufflepuff flag in front of him ,,You really aren’t one of many words, huh. Remember your old-self being quite a talker“ she restrained herself from calling him a phony show-off and decided to pretend to not notice the hateful glare she was getting from him ,,You know Malfoy, you aren’t making it exactly easy for people to like and understand you“ ,,Well, I don’t give a damn about what other people think!“ ,,oh, yeah?“ she said raising an eyebrow, not even convinced slightly. Just because he had never taken notice of her, didn’t meant that she didn’t had of him and from her observing there were quite a few things she could say that would most likely refute his statement of not caring about other people’s opinions. 

,,Astoria, what the hell are you doing?“ her older sister had stormed their way as soon as she came into the great hall and saw her sister, sitting beside the traitor ,,Eating breakfast?“ she said as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing and Daphne looked between her sister and Draco, unsure of what to say in front of him ,,Can I talk to you for a moment...outside?“ Astoria sighed, showing a slight hint of annoyance before she excused herself and followed her sister outside. Draco was relieved that now, she wouldn’t bother him ever again. At least he told himself that.

The day went by quickly and soon he found himself, inside Professor Crowly’s office with Potter right beside him.  
,,I see you have decided to decline the offer Mr. Potter“ the professor spoke and smiled gently at the boy, who only gave a light nod as an answer  
,,So, I talked to Mr. Filch and he informed me that since last year, the Charms that held the library in good shape didn’t work that well anymore and while Professor Profeliu agreed to renew the charms, he is sadly very busy at the moment with the extra classes he has to give, so I thought until he would find the time, it would be perfect for the two of you to clean up the parts of the library that were left behind in quite a mess“ ,,Isn’t there any other work Professor?“ asked Draco ,,Work that don’t require us-“ he gestured towards Harry and himself ,,-to work together“ Professor Crowly didn’t looked very happy with the open displayed dislike but decided to not meddle into their business and instructed them to go to the library, where Filch awaits them.

,,It’s not like I wanna do this work with you either“ Harry had said, when they left the office and Draco had told him to stay away from him as far as possible ,,Let’s just agree to pretend like the other isn’t there, okay?“ ,,As if Saint Potter could ever pretend he doesn’t exist“ ,,Only once, please! Can you only once just stop being such a dick?!“ ,,What did you call me?!“ Harry rolled his eyes, clearly not in the mood to deal with Malfoy’s annoying behavior that he had been used to for many years now ,,Why did I decline the offer of getting away“ he muttered to himself but Draco had heard him and chuckled scornful  
,,Of course, the hero Potter gets a special treatment because he is so much better than everyone else“ ,,I don’t think it’s me that believes to be better than others“ Draco gave him a glare, that if looks could kill Harry would’ve definitely died on the spot. ,,Just don’t get in my way!“ was the last thing Draco said before he stormed off, not longer wanting to bear with the others presence right beside him. Why couldn’t Potter just leave him alone? Why was it that he was always confronted with him, no matter where he went.

noticeably annoyed, Draco had almost started a fight with Filch, who only hold himself back because madam Pince had gave him an rebukingly look. He muttered his usual how he wished to have the old days back where the punishments were still useful and led Draco and Harry away from the eyes of the students, to a corner of the library that hadn’t been used since the war and was in a state of utter chaos. Before Harry could say a word, Filch had snatched his wand and grinned malicious ,,No wands“ he hold his hand out for Draco to give him his wand too, which he did unwillingly with a wish for Filch to just vanish from everyone’s life. ,,enjoy your afternoon“ he chuckled ugly and left the two boys alone, who had been not very happy about the work but were now even more gloomy because without a wand, this would take days to finish. 

Some of the shelves had been knocked over and it’s whole content, which were at least a few hundreds books, had been tossed to the ground recklessly. Flinch had given them a list with the way to stack the books and they both had silently agreed to start at each different ending, to stay away from the other as far as possible. The afternoon went by slow, much too Draco’s distaste and when it was time for dinner, they were finally freed for the rest of the day but his mood didn’t improved as he saw the small progress they had made in this hours, which meant they were gonna have to spent a lot more time together in that tiny space. Draco was about to head back to his room, not really feeling much hungry, when someone grabbed his hand.  
,,The great Hall is that way, you know“ Astoria said, smiling innocently and dragged Draco away from the grand staircase. He really just wanted to go down into the dungeons and into his room to get some peace but felt unable to do so, when Astoria led him towards the hall with such confidence and just maybe he was surprised that she was still talking to him, so he was a little afraid to push her away that she might really give up on talking to him.  
,,I’m not really hungry“ ,,But you should eat, you are so skinny!“ ,,I’m not!“ ,,Of course you are, you look like you haven’t been eating properly for months!“ Draco was amazed at just how she seemed to be not even a bit intimidated by him and he didn’t knew how to feel about that. He saw Daphne giving him a hard look as their passed her by and took a seat at the other end of the table. Did Astoria got into a fight with her sister because of him?  
,,What’s that about?“ he asked, gesturing towards Daphne and Astoria sighed ,,That?...let’s just say, my sister hasn’t changed at all“ ,,Huh?“ ,,well...the war-“ she began and for the first time the confidence in her voice wasn’t as strong. Was she scared to talk about it in front of him? ,,-I mean, it didn’t change her“ she cleared her throat uncomfortably and loaded her plate with potatoes and vegetables, not forgetting to put a few onto Draco’s plate too ,,At least, not like it changed me“ ,,And that would be?“ Draco said, raising an eyebrow ,,I just realized that things I had believed to be important, weren’t as important as I thought“ she was talking so cryptic and it was slowly getting on his nerves but he didn’t wanted to come across as too curious, so he just let the conversation die and concentrated on the food, she had placed on his plate. They didn’t talked until they had finished dinner but Draco was fine with it, he liked the company anyway and when they went back together to the dungeons, he did feel like this might be not as bad as he thought. She seemed to be genuinely interested in talking to him, even though it was hard for him to believe that she did not had any ulterior motives. 

,,I bet he wants Voldemort to return“ it had been only three days since he had come back to Hogwarts but with the press taunting him the last months, he felt already used to the sporadic insults he would catch in the corridors ,,What do you think, happened with his...mark?“ ,,I g-“ he shut his door forcefully and threw his cloak angrily onto his bed. He looked at his left forearm that was covered in his white blouse and felt the skin beneath itching, absentmindedly drawing little circles. A Scar that would never fade away. He shook the thought away and started undressing, not feeling like giving any attention to his emotions at the moment.

The next days went by a lot more calm and except the awful afternoon’s he had to spent with Harry, he slowly got used to being back in Hogwarts and actually started enjoying his chats with Astoria, who seemed completely unfazed by the looks she got from the others. She didn’t seem to care much about his unfriendly behavior and continued talking even if he had already stopped participating a while ago. Everyday, he would find new aspects of her features that seemed weirdly perfect to him. She was really pretty, her skin pale and clean. Piercing emerald green eyes, full lips and a small nose that fitted perfectly into her doll-like appearance. He doubted she had a boyfriend, as she spent quite a lot of time with him and never saw someone beside her but he knew the boys were probably all crazy for her, just like they all had been for Daphne. Imperfection did not seem to exist in the Greengrass family, at least based on their looks. 

When the boys had found themselves, done with their task and full of joy, they had almost smiled at each other but stopped when they realized who they were. It had taken them about four days and a lot of sore pain in their arms and they just hoped that whatever Professor Crowly would give them as the next punishment was something that didn’t include a lot of arm work and was hopefully not as dull as sorting books after theme’s and the alphabet.  
,,Harry“ Hermione had walked around the corner, deeply focused on the book in her hand, when she had almost knocked Harry over when he startled her by putting his hand on her shoulder ,,You scared me“ ,,Sorry“ he smiled lightly and leaned against one of the large shelfs, obviously tired from the work ,,Took you quite long to finish“ she only glanced once at Draco who was standing at the window, not interested in her arrival, before she proceed to ignore his existence ,,You try being faster without a wand“ ,,I really can’t follow his trail of thoughts as to why Professor Crowly had to make you do this work without a wand. You only wandered around the halls, not kill anyone“ he shrugged his shoulders ,,I guess he just wanted to make sure that we won’t do it again. Where is Ron?“ he asked wondering. Normally the two were inseparable since they had confessed their feelings to each other openly, never leaving each other’s side as if they weren’t whole without the other. ,,You know Ron, he was never a fan of books or library’s that contained this inhuman things, as he had described it“ they chuckled lightly and Draco felt the urge to puke. How long would it take for Filch to finally bring them back their wands? He really didn’t wanted to waste any second longer, listening to the useless small talk of his long term enemies. All three of them had turned around when Professor Crowly had greeted them with a smile ,,I see you haven’t even used your wand. Very exemplary“ he nod as a sense of acknowledging their hard work and continued his way to the restricted section of the library ,,Did he just...“ Harry trailed of, already knowing the answer. It was just another one of Filch’s hateful pranks to make their life at least a little bit harder. Boiling of anger, Draco had to use a lot of willpower to not hex Filch the moment he gave them back their wands. 

Next day, the two soon-to-be 18 found themselves in front of Hagrid’s hut, where the half-giant had been taking care of the slowly growing plants and smiled upon their arrival ,,Well, boys . I heard you two wanted to lend me a helping hand with the little problem I’m currently having inside the forbidden forest“ Draco scoffed. This felt oddly familiar.  
,,But don’t worry, this time I won’t let you search for a bleeding unicorn“ he laughed as if it was a memory that was dear but the boys surely remembered being scared for their life’s ,,Well then, we shall not waste time, reminiscing about old times right? Two days ago, one of the Centaur approached me and told me about mermaid scales they have found in the forest“ ,,Mermaid scales? But they live in the sea’s“ ,,Right, Harry. That’s what doesn’t make sense. I went to the sea and Hagiri, one of the mermaids, told me that the past weeks, some of their swarm had went missing and found later on, almost dried out and with their scales scraped off” Harry breathed sharply in ,,but you see, the traces end at a hole, it’s big but you know-“ Hagrid giggled slightly embarrassed and pointed towards his belly ,,-I might have gained a bit weight the last months“ it wasn’t enough to make Harry laugh but he smiled lightly and told Hagrid that they would love to help him, at which Draco glared at him because he had said ’they‘, including him which wouldn’t be very close to the truth because Draco never liked that giant much. If he would ask himself why, he wouldn’t be sure if he could answer that question. 

They walked inside the forbidden forest and soon the sun, was blocked out from the trees and the warmth it brought gone, replaced by a chilly wind. ,,Hagrid, how is Buckbeak doing?“ at the mention of the bird, he looked up from the ground and listened to their conversation ,,He is doing very well but I think he misses you a bit“ ,,I’ll promise to visit him soon“ ,,I think he would love that“ Hagrid eyed Draco, who immediately looked away as if he didn’t cared at all about what they were talking. Draco always knew that it’s been them, who helped that Hippogriff escape but he never got the chance to prove it but now, he really didn’t care anymore what happened to that beast that had attacked him a long time ago. Somehow he was glad, that they hadn’t succeed in executing that animal. At least one death less that he wouldn’t need to walk around with. He pushed his thoughts aside and concentrated on kicking the stones and sticks away, that crossed his way, now and then listening to the conversation between the two unusual pair of friends. Soon, between the dirt and leaves on the ground Draco began to see the shimmering scales, that Hagrid had talked about. In the sea, they were hideous creatures who didn’t come close to ever being viewed as beautiful but this triangle formed scales, that reminded one of painted glass possessed a beauty that not even the darkness of the forest was able to conceal. Unnoticed by the two in front of him, Draco took a big one that had a greenish color to it and put it in his pocket.  
,,So, what do you think is the reason someone’s been carrying this scales into the forest?“ ,,I wish I knew” ,,Maybe because of gold?“ ,,Could be Harry, could be but why bring it into the forest?“ they came to an stop in front of a big hole, that could easily be overlooked in the dark if you weren’t careful enough. It was right beside a tree, big enough to fit a human easily. When Harry spoke the Lumos charm, no end could be seen. Draco and Harry swallowed visibly and looked nervous at each other, waiting for each to say they would go first. 

,,Coward“ Draco muttered, rolling his eyes and moving closer to the hole ,,As if I am the coward“ Harry had spatted back but Draco just ignored him and just slid into the hole before Hagrid could tell him to be careful ,,Don’t worry“ Harry reassured Hagrid with a little smile and followed after Draco. The ride wasn’t as long as expected but much more painful. Draco wanted to get up but was thrown to the ground ungraceful as Harry crashed into his back, making his face sink into the dirt ,,What the-“ ,,I'm sorry“ Harry had said before Draco could even start insulting him. For a moment, he considered just killing his enemy of years but decided that right now wasn’t the right time to do this ,,You’re gonna regret this“ he spitted, his voice dripping of hatred. He moved his hand across his face, trying to get rid of some of the dirt and splashing it thoughtless onto the ground again. 

Draco felt Harry beside him visibly shifting nervously and chuckled into himself ,,The great Harry Potter, scared of a little black hole“ Harry rolled his eyes, muttering just lightly that he hated small spaces but it seemed as just an excuse for Draco. They continued crawling their way through the dark, their wands the only source of light. They had no idea how far they were down but it seemed to go downwards slightly the whole time and after what felt like an eternity, the small path started to grow, letting them slowly walk straight until it ended up in a cave big enough for them to stand up comfortably. ,,Thats...“ Harry said as they saw the pile of scales, scattered around the whole cave ,,Who could do something like this?“ his voice full of resentment. 

Who or whatever it was, that scrapped off the scales of the unconscious mermaids, had done it at least a dozen times and it seemed so brutal, Harry felt sick. Draco looked at the others sorrow filled face, wondering what his own expression looked like. Harry inspected the cave and two minutes into it, in between the scales he found a unusual amount of seeds and dead bugs. ,,Looks like a storage of food, which means-“ ,,someone is living in this hole, smart guess“ Draco interrupted him with a sarcastic tone and rolled his eyes. After Draco found a few pieces of black fur, he chuckled at the fear they had felt upon what could be living here ,,Niffler“ he said and Harry turned to him ,,What?“ ,,It’s the cave of a Niffler“ ,,Niffler?“ ,,Are you ever paying attention in class? Niffler, black fur, long snout, love shiny objects?“ ,,...but they are harmless“ Harry said after he remembered the class of Professor Kettleburn in third year ,,They would rather be eaten by the mermaids....unless-“ ,,-there is someone giving it to him“ Draco finished his sentence and Harry nod ,,Yeah, but who or better what?“ 

a sudden noise from the narrow path startled the two boys and when they turned around, all they saw was the eyes of a creature that was definitely not a Niffler before the earth around them started vibrating and the way out collapsed ,,NO!“ they both sprint towards the hole but to no use. the hole was no filled up with earth, blocking the only way out

,,Why the hell are they giving us always tasks like that?“ Draco couldn’t control his anger anymore and felt the urge to throw or kick anything but there was nothing around them, making him just more furious.  
,,I am never ever going back into this god damn cursed forest! Should they throw me out, I don’t care!“ when he turned around, he got distracted from his anger as he saw the distraught look on his rival’s face. Harry stood frozen in one place, his eyes fixated on the ground ,,What, Potter? Not like we’re gonna die down here“ Draco said, annoyed. How could that guy be in fear right now? He fought against the darkest wizard of history and had escaped death more than any other but he was paralyzed by fear now?. Harry didn’t react to his words but retreated slowly backwards until his back hit a wall and he slide down to the ground. ,,What the bloody hell is going on with you, Potter?“ Harry swallowed heavily, really not liking the fact that it had to be Draco to see him like this ,,I....I really don’t like small spaces“ The soften of his expression went unnoticed by Draco himself and he sighed heavily. How were they gonna get out of here?


	4. Chapter 4

,,Just don’t....think about it“ Draco said, scratching his neck in awkwardness. He never needed to calm someone down so he really had no clue what he was supposed to say to the boy, who had been sitting motionless on the ground for the past 15 minutes ,,Yeah because it’s so easy to not think about the fact that we are in a cave, who god knows how deep into the ground, with no way out“ at least he could still be a little spiteful ,,Just...I don’t know...think about, eh, Professor Flitwick“ Draco said helpless and Harry gave him an questioning look ,,What? That guy is a dwarf. Just his- “ ,,He is half-goblin!“ Harry interrupted him ,,You seriously are a dick“ ,,And there he is, Saint Potter, protector of all“ ,,I’m just not a racist, like you!“ ,,I’m not a-“ Draco stopped in mid sentence and turned away from Harry, groaning in frustration ,,I’m not a racist“ his voice was barely audible but Harry had heard him and scoffed ,,Yeah, not that you called my best friend a mudblood for years and treated everyone who who wasn’t a pure blood or a racist, like dirt“ ,,This, this is what I mean“ Draco said, turning back to Harry and looked right into his emerald green eyes ,,You are always so full of yourself. Harry Potter, the moral apostle, who would never do something unrighteous“ ,,What’s so wrong about that?! You just hate it because you don’t want to see that you are nothing more than a dick, who spent his whole life hiding behind mommy and daddy and cowardly only cared about himself!“ a dangerous silent filled the room and for a moment Harry was convinced Draco was going to kill him right at the spot but before said person could even mutter a word, the earth behind him began to vibrate and he jumped away from the hole. Seconds later, the snout of a Niffler peaked out, soon followed by the rest of it’s body. He had restored the path, albeit it didn’t look very steady, and had a little note on his back, which Harry immediately grabbed ,,It’s Hagrid. He said, it was a elf and that he caught it and that the Niffler has something inside his pouch to get us out“ Harry conveyed Hagrid’s message and Draco grabbed the Niffler, the disgust shown in his face as he grabbed inside it’s porch. The creature definitely not happy with that bit into Draco’s finger, making him pull away his arm forcefully ,,You little“ he said, ready to take his wand but was stopped when Harry walked towards him and smiled friendly at the animal ,,You got something for us, right? Can you show us, please?“ that little animal tilted it’s head a bit and gave a small nod. Draco let the creature free itself from his grip and land clumsy on the ground.  
,,Shrinking potion, great“ Draco said when the object that would guarantee their safety return turned out to be not that safe.   
,,You can stay here, if you want“ without much hesitation, Harry took a sip from the potion and handed it over to Draco, who eyed the potion wary before doing the same. In a matter of a few seconds, they both felt their legs getting wobbly and the cave began to grow bigger, at least it felt like that. They were still quite a lot bigger than the magical creature. Without wasting a second, they made their way towards the hole that looked like it was going to collapse any minute again and crawled through the even more narrow space than before. 

Harry couldn’t describe in words the relief he felt, when he finally breathed in fresh air.   
,,I am so sorry boys, I did not thought something like this would happen“ ,,Yeah, happens when you don’t use your brain“ Draco had said quietly enough for Hagrid to not hear but Harry did and glared at him for insulting his friend ,,This guy is really shameless“ Hagrid pointed towards the little creature that was tied up at a tree ,,A house elf?“ Harry said confused ,,That means-“ ,,Yeah, someone told him to do this but he won’t say who“ the house elf reminded Harry oddly of Kreacher, he had the same flame of hatred in his eyes ,,Oh, a Malfoy“ he said when his eyes landed on Draco and he recognized the white hair and face of the boy whose family pictures had been in the news for a while ,,Would I’ve known, I would’ve never tried to kill you“ unsure how to react to his words Draco remained silent ,,I sincerely apologize. I heard about the tragedy of your family. horrible, sir. Unfair, very unfair“ ,,Who told you to do that?“ Draco said, ignoring the comment about his family ,,Sir?“ ,,Hurting this mermaids and hiding them in the woods?“ ,,Sir, I am inconsolable but I am forbidden to speak the names of my masters“ ,,Masters? There is more than one?“ now the elf glared at Draco just the way he had been looking at Hagrid since he caught him ,,Just like you said, I’m a Malfoy. I command you to tell me the name of your masters“ the house elf spitted onto the ground ,,Your name is worthing nothing. You might be a member of one of the sacred families but you name has been dirtied by your foolish feeders, who let themselves caught by the ministry“ ,,You“ Draco launched forwards, took his wand and pressed it against the house-elf’s neck, who in return wore a terrified expression ,,I’m gonna show you what it means to dare to offend a Malfoy. Iko-“ ,,Expelliarmus“ Draco’s wand got thrown to the ground and he turned around to see Harry picking it up ,,Give it back before I’m gonna kill you too“ his voice was dangerously low and Harry wasn’t sure how to make the situation better. He just knew, he couldn’t let Draco run wild.   
,,Only if you calm down! We still need that guy“ Hagrid who had been silently watching the scene, positioned himself beside Harry and nod ,,I am your teacher. I will handle this situation!“ ,,I swear if you-“ ,,Should I deduct points for Slytherin?“ Hagrid said in a serious tone and after a few seconds, Draco walked towards Harry furious, snatched his wand ,,If you dare to tell anyone about this, I’m gonna make you pay!“ and with that said, he stormed off without giving another glance to any of them.

,,This little bastard“ he murmured to himself. He needed to vent his anger or he felt like he would explode. He couldn’t believe that the power his name had hold all his life had vanished to a point where even a lousy house-elf dared to insult him. He felt the embarrassment creeping in his anger, embarrassment of the fact that his most hated person had witnessed just how deep he had sunken. Not capable of getting himself to cool off, he used his wand to just let everything around him clash with the magic of his wand, cracking trees and almost disrooting one or two. He left he chaos he had caused behind him as Hagrid’s hut came into sight and just continued storming towards the castle.  
,,Oh hey Dra-“ Astoria cut herself off when Draco walked past her, not giving her one glance. Unfazed by his lack of manner, she ran after him, adapting to his pace ,,Wow, what happened to get you so worked up?“ ,,Leave me alone!“ he said, slightly feeling calmer than before ,,Must be pretty serious, huh?“ ,,What do you want?“ ,,You telling me what’s wrong“ ,,Nothing is wrong!“ ,,Yeah, clearly. That’s why you look like you would murder the next person that get’s on your nerves“ ,,Then why are your talking to me?“ ,,Because you would never win against me“ she said, grinning brightly and he stopped walking abruptly, making her adapt to his sudden stop and stared at her. He really wondered what she was thinking  
,,Why are you doing this? All of this, huh? I mean, trying to talk to me, even though I am clearly showing you that I don’t want to, getting into a fight with your sister because of me, saving me two nights in a row. What the hell do you really want from me? Just god damn say it!“ an unreadable expression took place on her face and she shook her head lightly ,,Is it so unthinkable that I just want to be your friend?“ ,,Yes! Because I’ve been doing nothing but treating you like shit“ ,,You are right about that. But I know it’s not that easy!“ her voice was strong, confident with no sign of backing down ,,I’m not living any longer inside this...this bubble“ she said, having difficulties finding the right words to get her message across ,,that my parents created and made me live in! I know, people don’t....understand us“ ,,Us?“ ,,Yeah, the way we were raised. Our parents told us that blood purity is superior and that nothing matters more but-“ she tried to calm herself down but failed miserably. All those different emotions were a lot ,,-I’ve seen people, my friends die because of that stupid reason! They had life’s to live, futures that waited for them but it was all taken away from them“ she whipped her tears away furiously and continued ,,People judge us, they will forever. For the once we are horrible people, who will be forever living in their sins and for the others we will be forever blood traitors, unworthy of our pure blood. I know that....that you are lonely“ she expected Draco to snap, get angry again and tell her that it’s ridiculous but he just looked at her, his face void of expression as if wasn’t sure how to feel about her words ,,And I know you are trying and I am trying too....I...I just wanted us both to feel less lonely, is that so wrong?“ he made no move to say a word or give her any kind of reaction, so she just sighed tiredly and walked passed him, her small figure disappearing into the dungeons. 

That night, he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. The words of the greengrass girl still vivid in his mind, while he was playing with the scale, he had picked up from the ground, between his fingers. She was right. The belief in purity of blood as something of more worth had done so much harm. He wondered, if those beliefs had never existed, would’ve changed it history a lot? His parents weren’t good people, whatever they believed in purity of blood or not but he still couldn’t shake the small possibility of his life turning out very differently if they hadn’t been so blinded by their hatred. He couldn’t understand what made the difference between his parents and him. After seeing all this sorrow, all this deaths and the brutality of the life he had been so ready to throw himself into, he could no longer pretend that the nagging feeling inside him that something felt wrong didn’t exist. His parents, they had been part of the cause for all this sorrow and deaths. He wondered if they ever felt this nagging feeling inside them too and had just chosen to drown it out or if it was never there. 

He had tried. He had tried so hard to drown it out but much to his distaste, he just couldn’t find it in himself to cross that last line to make him finally one of them. He couldn’t understand why. That’s what he always wanted, right? Belong to Voldemort’s inner circle, erase the existence of mudbloods and blood traitors, be on the side of the winners, let the dark consume him fully. He was so violently forced to come to terms with the fact that his life hadn’t been what he thought it was. In mid a war, he realized that the side he was on wasn’t as clear as he believed it to be. He had followed the footsteps of his parents too deep to be simply able to go back but he couldn’t bring himself to do the unforgivable and had found himself caught between what he believed to be destiny and what he really wanted. Until the end, he had been a coward and he knew that. His whole world had crashed down on him, everything was suddenly not as clear as he believed it to be and everyone expected him to chose which path he wants to take on in such chaotically and dangerous times, where not only his own safety weighted as a burden on his shoulder but also that of his family. He had taken out the easy way, had run away when his mother took his hand and led him away from the battle. It had been just too much. His 17 year old self broke under the weight and there was absolutely no one at his side. There never had been. 

Throughout the day, Draco found himself feeling sick and tired. He wished to have just stayed in his bed the whole day but without a sick note from Ms. Pomfrey, which he doubted he would get, he wouldn’t be allowed to. In the afternoon he went to Hagrid again, wondering what they would do today and when he arrived, Hagrid was about to lock his door ,,Oh, Draco, you’re here“ he put his key in his tremendously big pocket and smiled lightly at the boy in front of him ,,I know you are supposed to be doing your punishments but the discovery of the cave hole and the house elf seems to be more than it looks like and I“ he emphasized the ’I‘ very clearly ,,-was ordered to help in this matter“ ,,Does that mean I can just go back to my room then?“ Draco said, clearly not caring about Hagrids pride ,,Eh, well not exactly. Harry said you two could go back into the forest and collect as much as mermaids scales as you can find....they would like to have them back“ ,,Why? Not like they can just put them back on“ ,,Sometimes, Draco. Things don’t have to be useful to have a value“ his emphatic voice gave the words an intention, Draco couldn’t quite figured out and as he wandered around the forest with Harry ahead, he asked himself over and over what the half-giant meant. If something was of no use, why bother? Distracted by his thoughts time went by quickly and three hours later, their bags had been filled to the brink and float through the air right behind them as they made their way towards the sea. Harry had used his wand to send a signal down into the depth of the dark sea and in a matter of seconds something emerged from the deep and revealed itself as two mermaids. Their expressions carried distrust as they eyed Draco but he could swear a light smile formed on their pale lips when Harry greeted them ,,Hagrid told us, you wanted them back. I guess we missed a few but we tried as good as we could“ ,,Thank you Mr. Potter“ their voices were like whispers close to your ear and made your skin crawl, a feeling neither of them felt like embracing ,,If you don’t mind, what are you gonna do with this?“ Harry asked as if he could read Dracos mind, who was only waiting for the right moment to ask the same   
,,We will take them back to their rightful owners, who had been the ones to ask to deliver the request to Hagrid. That man is a good man“ ,,Indeed“ ,,But for what?“ the sudden voice of Draco, who had been absolutely silent the last hours turned everyones attention on him. The mermaid who had spoken just seconds before looked straight into his grey eyes and he felt a weird sensation in his stomach. As if she could look right into his soul and he really did not liked that feeling ,,I know who you are“ she said, her voices now deeper and scarier and Draco felt like she was right beside him, whispering those words into his eyes and her wet, slimy hands on his shoulder ,,To us mermaids, our scale’s are a treasure, a part of ourselves that shows our beauty and where we come from. Now that they have been ripped away brutally and left our family to bleed and die, they just want them back to mourn what they have lost. They might not look like a treasure for humans like you but they are very much to us“ Draco said nothing afterwards, only watched Harry say goodbye to the two creatures, who disappeared just as quickly as they had broken through the surface. Harry, who was already on his way back turned around when he couldn’t hear any other footsteps than his own and saw how Draco pulled out his hand from his jacket, a green shimmering scale in his hand and carefully placed it on the edge of the footbridge. He guessed whoever it belonged to would like to have it back. 

Back in the castle, they separated ways without exchanging a word and on his way back to the Slytherin common room, he saw Astoria sitting on a bench in the inner courtyard. Her eyes glued to the ground as her mind seemed to be far away. He chewed on his lips as he observed her from far, contemplating wherever he should go talk to her or leave her alone. She was quite upset yesterday and maybe she really didn’t felt like talking to him anymore. 

‚‚I just wanted us both to feel less lonely‘‘ 

her words echoed in his hand and as he had almost convinced himself to take a step towards her, she looked up. Her green eyes that had been so lively the first time he had seen her, looked tired and sad, blending perfectly into the misty weather and he felt guilt crashing onto him. Why did he always had to be at fault for the misery of others? Convinced that she would’ve rather talk to the dark lord than him, he turned away, not knowing that she had hoped so much for him to dare to walk up to her but he had chosen the familiar feeling of loneliness. He had almost the reached the common room when he heard someone calling his name and when he turned around, Astoria was running up to him. She smiled at him but it was different from the ones he knew. This one wasn’t as sincere.  
,,I just wanted you to know that I’m not angry at you“ ,,I didn’t thought you were“ why couldn’t he ever be honest? ,,Oh okay, well that’s good then I guess“ he nod lightly, making her feel a bit embarrassed for believing that he would care enough about her to worry about her feelings ,,I’ll get going t-“ ,,Do you want to take a walk?“ Draco had blurred out, surprising not only her but himself too but he had no time to regret it as a big smile spread over her lips and she nod, a little life coming back into her beautiful eyes.

,,Can I ask you a question?“ Draco asked after they had walked in silence for the past 5 minutes and she nod, grateful that he was the one who broke the silence ,,Why did you approach me? I know, you said it yesterday....but what made you think that I’m different?....that I’ve changed?“ her answer came faster that he had expected ,,Because my sister had to stay in the hospital wing“ he looked confused at her and she only chuckled lightly. She put her hands into her pocked and breathed in the fresh air of the early evening, taking in the view from the top of the hill. From far away the forbidden forest looked so calm, no hint of the danger that lived inside it ,,My sister, she got hurt very badly in the battle. She got slammed into a wall and broke her shoulder and wrist and fractured her right ankle, so she had to stay at the hospital wing for a few weeks. I saw you“ she turned to look at him for a second with a gentle smile on her lips ,,Ms. Pomfrey had said that visitor’s weren’t allowed at night, so every night I slept in front of the hospital wing. I was afraid that something was going to happen to her and I wouldn’t be there to protect her, so I would take a peak once in a while and that’s when I saw the shadow of a boy. He looked so....“ the eyes she had seen in those nights had been filled with so much grief that she wondered how he was keeping himself together ,,I know you stayed there for the same reason I did“ his lips were pressed into a thin line and his eyes seemed to remember the nights, he had spent inside this hospital wing. He had wanted to apologize to them so many times but never could find the courage. She could see the shift in his expression, how he seemed to push those memories away and the lethargic look, she was used to see on him returned but she decided to keep silent. He was like a wounded wolf, one wrong move and he would bite at the hand that was only trying to help. They sat down on a bench, near the Quidditch field that allowed them to gaze over the valley that was lying beneath them and hear the bells of the church in Hogsmead in the distance.

,,And I know it was you, who paid that girls hospital bills“ finally he looked up from the ground, a surprised expression lingering ,,Her parents....they were muggles, working jobs that didn’t gave enough to pay for the medicine that was needed. Her mother, she couldn’t eat or sleep properly anymore and she begged madam Pomfrey to let her stay the night. After she had fallen asleep at the bed of her daughter, I saw how you put the gold beside the bed“ he was taken aback by the realization that she had approached him, not out of a mood but because she had thought about it for months. She had seen him, Draco Malfoy who was known for hating mixed bloods of all kinds, save the life of a muggleborn girl.

,,I’m not a good person“ he finally said with a shaky voice ,,And I never wanted to be one“ he stood up, taking a step forwards, gazing into the sky that was covered in clouds. She wondered if he really believed that.  
,,And for that, others had to pay the price“ ,,You....you believe their deaths are your fault?“ the noticeable confusion in her voice made him turn around and look at her with an unreadable expression but before she was able to continue, their conversation was interrupted by Professor Crowly, who instructed them to go back to their common room as the curfew was getting close. Considering that Draco probably did not wanted to talk about this in front of a teacher, she decided to drop the topic for now and followed the professor back to the castle, where Draco had said goodbye to her in a timid manner but smiled nonetheless, which she found to be an improvement. Maybe this could really work.

The next days went by in a blur and the boring and lethargic days he got used to, started to brighten up whenever he got the chance to talk to Astoria and made him forget the hours he had to spent with Harry in the afternoon. Their work the last few days consisted mostly of helping Hagrid with various trivial things, as watering the plants in his garden that were fighting the heat and feeding the little monstrous bugs which Hagrid claimed to be his harmless pets. They weren’t big but their bite surely hurt and Draco wish he could’ve just stamped on them as revenge. ,,God, when will this finally be over“ he murmured with a grumpy expression and Harry had to hide a malicious smirk. The bugs had been getting more and more violent whenever Draco was in their sight and Hagrid had said that the bugs have feelings to, so whenever Draco would look at them and push them aside with disgust, they feel it. The truthfulness of his words was yet to be proven but it surely did not took the joy away from seeing the composed bully jump around like a clown when they tried to crawl his leg up and bite him.

Suddenly, a loud scream, that did not sound human, ripped through the air, startling the two boys who froze. Another scream and Harry freed himself of his paralyze, running towards the direction the scream seemed to come from, while Draco was still standing on his spot. Suddenly he found himself back in his home, with Rowle on the ground in front of him, screaming his lungs out. It took him a second to get himself back into reality but once he did, he started running after Harry. He followed him until they were back at the sea and the scene in front of him was horrifying. The House-elf that had been caught by Hagrid stood above a mermaid, with scales in his hand while the sea creature was bleeding severely from where he had ripped her skin off. Draco couldn’t do anything, frozen from fear and the brutality of the house-elf’s act. ,,You“ Harry’s voice dripped from hatred and the glimmer in his eyes showed just how much he would like to let the elf feel the pain he was inflicting on the poor girl that had been helplessly crying and screaming. The little creature only grinned lightly and with just one hand motion, he apparated, taking the mermaid with him.   
,,Harry!“ Hagrid’s upset voice echoed through the dead silence and Harry and Draco turned around, seeing the gamekeeper storming their way ,,What happened?“ ,,The elf, he did it again. He took the mermaid with him. Hagrid, who is that elf?“ the look on his adult friend said more than enough. This wasn’t some simple matter as someone selling the scales to make profit ,,Don’t worry, Harry. The ministry will take care of this“ ,,Yeah, sure. Just like they always did,huh?“ Draco looked at Harry, wondering if the boy ever had enough of thinking that everything was his responsibility. After all that happened, couldn’t he just let the adult’s deal with it? Hagrid sighed and looked at the spot where the blood of the mermaid still lingered, slowly dripping down into the water ,,The elf is just not as ordinary as we thought. We don’t know where he comes from or who his Masters are but they seem to possess quite a lot of power as they were able to get the elf out of the ministry and it looks like they even dared to let him continue his horrific work“ Hagrid who had always been a friend of the misunderstood creatures was filled with grief upon the fate of the poor mermaid that Harry and Draco couldn’t save. ,,It’s already late, you two can go back now“ ,,But-“ ,,No buts, Harry. It’s late and I need to send an owl, regarding....the whole spectacle here“ knowing it made no sense to try and get Hagrid to spill more right now Harry decided to give up for now and follow the orders of the gamekeeper. Draco still hadn’t said one word and was now being eyed by Harry, who had noticed the face of the blonde to be even more pale than usual. He really wondered how that guy was able to become a death eater if he was so easily scared but what Harry didn’t knew was that it wasn’t the scenario that just happened that had make Draco frozen, it were the memories that were trying to creep onto him, throwing him back into a time he would rather like to forget.

,,DO IT!“ 

suddenly someone grabbed him and Draco’s whole body shook under the touch, throwing himself to the ground to escape the grip ,,Boy, you alright?“ Hagrid had asked worried when the boy hadn’t reacted to his name getting called and seemed to be scared for his life at his hand touching his shoulder ,,Take your filthy hands of mine!“ Draco said spiteful, giving the half giant a look that displayed all the hatred he could find in himself. Not waiting for an response, Draco picked himself up from the ground and hurried away from the scene, leaving the two wizards back in confusion. 

,,DO IT! or it will be you, who takes his place!“ the voice of the man that had been like a plague to his dreams the last two years, followed him through the corridors of the school. It felt like he was right behind him, whispering those words that he had threatened him with on this dreadful day.   
When Draco lifted his head, he could see the reflection of Rowle inside the bathroom mirror, right behind him, his bloodshot eyes spread wide open and starring at him while he screamed loud enough that Draco felt like his eardrums were going to burst.   
,,Stop, please!“ he whimpered, his voice cracking as he steadied himself on the sink, he had been standing at way too often, breaking down the last years. 

//FLASHBACK//

,,You disappoint me, Rowle“ Draco stood beside his mother, in the far back of the hall. He knew what would happen with the man, that had thrown himself onto the ground and begged for mercy ,,Hasn’t it been you, who had shown the old man what will happen to traitors?“ ,,M-My Lord, I didn’t- I would never betray you“ the man, who was able to silence every room without uttering a word and make every powerful man fall to his knees, stood up from the chair, turning away from Rowle towards the crowd of death eaters that were watching the scene ,,Mr. Rowle seems to have fallen to the illusion that he is not a traitor“ his snake like voice echoed through the dead silent room, the only thing heard was the heavy breathing of Thorfinn ,,You“ he pointed towards one of the death eaters, who couldn’t help but quiver at the attention of the dark lord ,,Yes, My Lord“ ,,What defines a traitor....for me?“ ,,Someone who has shared secrets, questioned your authority or has not given his best to accomplish the mission’s that had been ordered, my Lord“ ,,Ah, very good son, very good“ he turned back around to the man on the ground, a shallow apologetic expression on his face ,,And you, Rowle? Do you think you have done your best?“ ,,M-My Lord, I tried my best, I-“ ,,So, you are not saying you haven’t done your best but that your best....isn’t enough?“ his voice darkened at the end of the sentence and sealed the mans fate ,,I guess it’s only fair to the old man and everyone else here, in this room that you have to suffer for your betrayal“ he almost sounded like he was really sorry to inflict pain upon him but the venom that hide behind the words showed the true nature of his and the satisfaction he felt by demonstrating what would happen to anyone, who fell from his grace. Everyone had only waited for the unforgivable curse to end Thorfinns life but as the whole room got silent, Voldemort turned around with a dangerous glimmer inside his purely evil eyes ,,Draco“ he sighed and in a second, a path had formed between the crowd, showing the pale boy whose heart had began to pound so loud that he believed everyone was able to hear it ,,Snape, has taken an opportunity from you to prove yourself, my son“ the dark Lord, took his rightful place on the head chair and looked right into the 17 year old boy’s eyes. He wanted to stay in Hogwarts when the holiday’s had come closer because he knew, what would await him back at his home. To say he was terrified when his mother told him that he needs to come back would be an understatement but he followed her wish and he would need to pay the price for that now.   
,,Come closer, son, come closer“ Draco stood frozen on his spot, his body just didn’t wanted to move and only did when his mother squeezed his hand tight.   
,,My Lord, I can do it“ Narcissa spoke but the cold man shook his head lightly ,,Seems like, there are many people who wanna stop you from taking their place in the spotlight but don’t worry boy, this is your time“ the fear in the boys eyes was so clearly brought to the surface that no one would be able to miss it, not even a man who had long ago forgotten what it’s like to feel. Draco moved forward hesitantly until he was right in front of Rowle, who had eyed him from beneath but there was no evil seen in the eyes that had tortured and murdered mercilessly. It all had been drowned out by the terrifying realization that the chance of him, leaving this room was just as low as the chance of Draco coming out alive of this if he would dare to not follow the orders of the dark lord  
,,I want you, to make him feel what it’s like to betray me“ he eyed the dark lord for a second before turning his attention back on Thorfinn. He wanted to speak but he didn’t trust his voice to sound steady at all, so he just silently prayed for someone to come into the room right now and interrupt this scene that he knew, was going to haunt him forever. ,,Don’t be shy, he has done the same plenty and he showed just as much mercy as he did when he killed those little kids“ Draco tighten his grip around his wand but his hand wouldn’t obey when he tried to lift his right arm. He couldn’t do it and he knew that.  
,,Draco“ the voice of his mother ripped through the tension, her voice calm and steady. She knew what would await her son if he wasn’t going to follow the orders of the man, who had no ounce of compassion in his cold, black heart ,,Do it or feel my wrath yourself“ his voice still as calm and collected but when his voice suddenly screamed ’Do it‘, loud enough to be heard in the far distance Draco had broken under the pressure and fear and spoke the Cruciatus curse and Rowle’s scream echoed through the halls of the manor.

//FLASHBACK END//

He couldn’t breath anymore. His throat was closing and he fell onto the ground, trying to hold himself up with his shaking arms. The tears spilled out of his eyes, dropping down onto the clean bathroom ground. He desperately tried to get himself under control but he still heard those screams in his head. In that moment he realized just how much he hated himself. He was never able to stand up against the paralyzing fear inside him. He had seen and done so many things because of it and still he couldn’t fight it. He was a coward and there was nothing he could say to prove himself otherwise. And in that moment he realized just why he hated Harry Potter, the one who was ready to sacrifice himself for all the good causes, so much. Harry Potter was all he never was and never will be. A constant reminder of his own cowardness. 

His self-loathing was interrupted when Myrte suddenly came flying into the room, as she had heard familiar sobs echoing in the pipes ,,Oh, Oh Draco“ she spoke out, startling the crying mess of a boy who looked at her through a blurry visions ,,You are crying again“ it already took everything inside him to not choke on his sobs, so he didn’t even try to talk and just buried his face into his hands, trying to get himself to calm down but to no use. The screaming just wouldn’t stop. Myrtle put her hand onto his shoulder even though she couldn’t really touch him and he couldn’t feel it, she hoped the boy, she had seen crying so many times would feel at least a little comforted at the fact that he was not completely alone. It took a whole hour until Draco had finally calmed down to a level where only sporadic sobs shook through his body. ,,I’m such a disgrace to my name“ he whispered hoarse to himself and Myrtle shook her head ,,You are not. Others just don’t understand people like us“ he shook his head that had long ago found a comfortable spot between his angled legs, hiding his face from everything and everyone ,,I am. I am....so weak“ the disgust in his voice was so audible that Myrtle felt her own dead heart aching for the boy in front of her ,,My father...he would be so disappointed, if he could see me right now. He was right all along“ he tighten his grip around his knees and had to calm himself down before he would start crying again ,,I will never be strong enough without him“ ,,That’s not true“ ,,No? Look around, Myrtle“ he said, his voice full of hatred as he lifted his head and gestured towards the empty bathroom ,,I am sitting in a bathroom, crying like a pathetic little kid and no one outside this four walls cares about me or my name or who I am. They talk behind my back and dare to insult me head on. Two years ago, they would’ve gladly accept it if I told them to jump from the astronomy tower“ he exaggerated to get his point across and let his head fall against the white marble wall. His father had told him that as long as he carries the name Malfoy, he will get everything he wants and that there is nothing better than fear to make the people around you respect you and Draco had taken his fathers words to heart but now that he no longer had his father around him, he realized just how small he really is, how powerless and he hated it, so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for the fourth chapter :) Hope you liked it ♥


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